Quiet quit

 

Have you heard of this? Quietly quitting. From what I understand, you just do your thing and you ignore everyone else. You don’t help, participate, go out of your way to help. Just do the minimum. 

Sometimes I feel that way but that is not what we are called to do. It’s hard to keeping put your all in when others do not do the same. I have done this…quit the gym  but it isn’t a quiet quit, I straight up did it and sometimes I will visit. It is a love/hate relationship that I need to work on! 

God gave us all a gift. Everyone has a different gift. But if you quit on the gift that God gave you, then you are quitting on yourself. God said to give ourselves fully. So this means teaching our kids to never give up. Being a leader and showing others to persevere through it all. Giving grace to those that just seem to have trouble getting it. Setting that example for others to follow. 

I have always said this and I will say it again…it starts with one. That one is you. You would never give up on your family or your kids. You keep at it. You do this because you want them to succeed. This applies in everything you do. 

So when you feel like quitting , remember, God will never quit you. He is always cheering for you, supporting you, holding you. He will never leave you. 

Deuteronomy 31:8  The Lord himself goes before and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. 

Love to all, 

Sadness over holidays

 

Through the holidays, there is a lot of joy and happiness.  I am with my family, laughing, getting caught up on lost time. I see all the little kids all grown up! It is like I am having to ask "who is that?". They have boyfriends and girl friends now. The time just goes by so quickly. I feel so old!!! Stop the clock please!

But there are times when you are reminded of those that are not with you. Those that are gone from this earth and those that can't be with you. I miss having my grandparents around. My brother and his family couldn't make our dinner, I miss seeing him. My in-laws weren't able to come, I missed them as well. 

This holiday was one of the best and saddest for me. I got to be reunited with one of my best friends in the world...my cousin L. She has been sick for a long time and has refused visitors. I haven't seen her in 4 years. Well, she isn't doing very well and I was able to go visit with her. I am so happy to have that time with her but so sad that her health is not good. I miss her terribly. I miss all the times we were able to go and do things, to talk, complain about stuff.

As I visited with her, we went down memory lane of our younger days. Some of the crazy stuff we did (and some stuff I don't want to remember).  It was great to laugh with her. It was great to see her laugh. She let me take a picture with her, but I want to remember her the way she was, so full of life, beautiful smile, crazy heart and so bull headed! She still has her bull headedness, but in a loving way (haha).

We do not know how long we have on this earth, but I do know where I will be when my life is over.        L will be there too. No more pain, no more tears. 

So right now I will take whatever time she will give me. To visit her, hug her and love her. To be intentional....with all those I love.

Romans 8:18 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Love to all,

Shoe on the other foot

 

When did I start to wear others shoes?  I mean....as I get older. 

Some things are good to be in the other shoes....they will clean for me, drive me places, you know, those things that youngins' do for us olders.  But when did they get so smart???

It happens that fast, over night. And I am so proud of my 2 youngins'!

My birthday card from Erin was so touching. She said she was proud of me! That is something that a parent tells their kids, not the other way around! But you know what??

I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT, ON THAT DAY!  The day I was turning double nickels. 

Tyler with his big, generous heart. He is helping his nana today with her Christmas cookies so we all will have them this year. He is so kind hearted to help anyone in need. Especially his momma when I need those knots rubbed out of my neck!

I don't know how I got so lucky and blessed, but I thank God for all the blessings he has given me throughout the years. Some of those blessings has been through tears, but they are blessings, nothing less.

During this time of thanksgiving, think about what God has blessed you with in your life. What are you grateful for? 

Psalms 9:1; "I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."

Love to all,  

oh, boy!

 

Tomorrow is the day. The day I cross over even more to middle age. Again, in my mind, I am still in my 20's.  When I look in the mirror, I say, "who is that person?!!" Sometimes I don't recognize the reflection. but ageing is part of life. It can be hard, but it can also be wonderful. I think of all the memories I have and all the people I have met and have in my life. This is truly a blessing for me. 

As we get older, we start to learn more and find our way. We are stronger in our faith and beliefs. 

Recently, I felt like I was being attacked. Mentally, emotionally, just attacked from all sides. Driving to work, I thought I wasn't going to make it through the day and my day hadn't even started yet. Have you ever felt that way?

So I remember something my mom has said many times, and at those times I did think how crazy she sounded. But at this point, I thought what would it hurt. I needed as much help as I could get, no matter how crazy it sounded. And I was alone, so no-one would know. Right?

So while I was driving, I just started praying. Which turned into me just saying the name of Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Over and over, through the tears, I just kept saying his name. And you know what? I could feel the anxiety leave. The tension. The pressure. I physically could feel it leave me.

I got to work and felt that I could function. I realize that I felt the love of Jesus that morning. All you have to do is ask. Cry out to him and HE will be there. 

So I continue to do this when I am feeling off. I don't think my mom's idea was as crazy now. But she still has some crazy things she does!

I am a child of God, his daughter and he loves me. I will never forget that.

"For God so loves the world that he gave his one and only son. That whosoever believes in him, will not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

Love to all,

(P.S. tomorrow is my birthday and I will be the glorious......55 years young)

Focus

How many times has your focus changed in your life and you have taken your eyes off of Christ? 

Or, are you doubting what you're doing because you are so tired and exhausted that you don't even know what you're doing anymore?

Or, you feel cold and you're just so tired and exhausted that you just can't do what you feel God called you to do?

What do you do in those times of trials? Do you just give up? Or do you push through and keep your eyes focused on Christ? In my times of trials, I know I have done both. Right now, tough decisions are to be made on what I feel God has called me to do and me fighting this feeling of exhaustion and wanting to give up. 

Peter did that. When he saw Jesus walk on the water and asked Jesus for him to do the same, Jesus said to come and he walked on the water to Jesus. But before he got there, he noticed the storm and fear set in. He started to sink. but Jesus pulled him up. He acknowledged the lack of faith that Peter had. 

My battle right now is my commitment to the missions. I love doing this, but for some reason there is a struggle, a battle, right now with me. I have so much other things going on around me. I know that I am being distracted but I am having to take a look at where my heart is right now. 

Our lack of faith shows when we are exhausted and ready to give up, hang in the towel, tap out. But Jesus will give us strength to push through. This trial, this storm, is meant to be there to make us lean on Christ. It will only make us stronger. This is the lesson that we are to learn from our trials. They will come, we will get tired. but to trust in God to be on the other side of the storm waiting for us is our reward. 

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

    before you were born I set you apart" Jeremiah 1:5

So many things we focus on, things that are wrong that take our eyes off of Jesus and we don't see what good is being done. 

#fixyoureyesonjesus

Love to all,

The in-between

 

The best things in life are the in-between. We say, if only I get through this, if I make it through then everything will be good. But when we do that, we are missing out on what is happening in the in-between.

God has put blessings for us in the in-between. If you were so focused on what has happened in your past or what is going to happen in the future, YOU MISS YOUR BLESSING IN THE MOMENT. Romans 8:28 tells us that all things work together for the good.

Some of my moments that I learned to focus on the in-between is:

- Not concentrating on my kids growing up, but enjoying the moments with them, like teaching them how to drive, experiencing their life in college, helping them move and their new careers.

- My cancer struggle, I chose not to concentrate on what was happening and the uncertain future at the time, but take each day and live it to the fullest. Now I don't look back but I have learned to pay attention to the details around me. The beauty in the world, not the ugly.

So don't focus on getting through BUT focus on what is happening in the in-between.  

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28 (NIV) The Living Bible translation words it this way: “And we know that all that happens to us is working for our good if we love God and are fitting into his plans.”

Love to all,

settled in

 

Well, Erin is settled in and looks like she is doing ok. I am surviving. We have facetimed so many times! She seems to be doing well as an adult. I had no doubt that she would succeed, but the mom in me wants her to stay a little girl! Ty is home now, so still not an empty nester yet. I think God is pacing me so I can work through this momma thing with my kids getting older.  Funny how life throws things at you and it shows you how strong you are. 

Jeremiah 29:11-12 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

Love to all,

It's almost time...

 

It is almost time for me to leave. I can't believe it is already Friday. I only have today and tomorrow with Erin before I have to leave her!!! I can say that it is really hard to not think about leaving her here and not have tears. The hardest part of being a parent is being a parent. You do what you can to help them survive but at some point you have to let them spread their wings and fly. And when they fly, it is away. 

I have enjoyed my time with her this week. It has been a blessing to help her move and unpack and help her decorate her apartment. Although it has been back breaking! I have learned that I can use a hand drill and I have put together a bed, bar stools, end tables and other things! (I hope my hubs doesn't read this because he will have me doing more of this at home!)

We have brought some of Kentucky with us, as you can see in the picture. No matter where she lives, she will always be a southern girl! 

We have a big day today and tomorrow to go see the sights. I saw where she is going to be working and it is beautiful. Please pray for her. 

Here is my prayer: to NOT be lonely, overwhelmed, scared. BUT TO KNOW she IS LOVED, SHE CAN DO IT, to just BREATHE.

And that GOD is with HER.

(and pray for her momma! That I don't run out of kleenex)

Isaiah 43:2

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Love to all,

Find it!

Find something thankful in everything that you do. I have learned this over my years of growing up. Mostly since I have been grown up and looking back on my life. But moving forward, I try to see these things daily. Whether it is driving in my car and a really good song comes on, or I stop to savor a donut that I haven't been able to eat in a long time! But also my time with my family. I love all the time we have together, but I know that time is precious. My kids are growing up and moving out. I am moving my sweet baby girl this week so she can grow up.  It's hard. I thought I would be ready for it since I did this last year with my sweet, handsome son. But as I can tell you now, you will never be ready for it.

All of life's adventures are usually firsts for us all. Like for me, this was the first time I had to fly by myself!! I tell you....I do NOT like it. And to make it worse, the man sitting next to me brought his own food, boiled eggs! I thought I would just throw up there. Why would you do this??

So what adventure are you on? Are you finding joy in this adventure or are you letting the stress over take you? Choose to throw it off and find something you are thankful for in what is happening. don't look at what is overwhelming you, but what is the good. The boiled egg smell was not good, but thankful for ginger ale! The flight was long, but thankful for the egg man to have netflex on his ipad and I snuck a watch. I didn't have sound but still a good thing to keep me occupied!

2 Timothy 4:17 "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength"

Love to all,

 

Mountains

 

Have you heard the saying, "you are making mountains out of mole hills."? Have you ever thought about how big your mountain is and if you would ever be able to get over it?

I was driving down the highway this morning and just driving through some hills. There was a small fog on the top of the trees. If you let your mind go, you can almost feel like you are driving through a mountain. When you get to the top of your mountain, and see the tops of the trees, it looks like a hill or a forest. How many times have we taken some small obstacle and made it into something bigger. 

I know I do this with some obstacles in my life. If I would only take a step back, take a deep breath and then look at it with fresh eyes, it would be manageable and not turn into a mountain. I have a lot going on in my life right now and feel I am being pulled in so many different directions. My job and the commitment and responsibilities I have and want to do. My family. That is a big part!! I will have stock in kleenex by the end of this summer.  It all started when the kids went to high school 10 years ago! Letting go is hard. then there was college. Then more college. Then Ty moving out last year. E moving out this year..actually in 2 DAYS!!! and then Ty moving back home in a month.  What is going on?????

I just have to say, no wonder I am the way I am.  But.....I love it. I love seeing my family grow, to see all of us be successful. I love my work family. I try to help where I can and give support. It is hard to balance that, but I think I do a pretty good job. My biggest barrier is I wish everyone could be as happy as I am, content, and have joy.  In order to have joy in your job, you need joy in your life. That's not to say you won't have those days that are hard to manage. But if you try to find the good in everything, it will be a little easier. 

Easy living and joy like the coon and turkey I saw at my parents house. Turkey walking around looking for food and the fat, lazy coon, laying on his side and eating! Both carefree and happy.

Psalm 51:10 ESV 

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Love to all,

Grateful hearts

I met the most wonderful and positive person today, Coach Davenport. He coaches basketball at Bellarmine College. He is just a powerful person to listen to and so encouraging. And he has a powerful voice! I guess you have to so the team can hear you over the crowds cheering!

Well he talked and encouraged the group I was in to be grateful. He said that it only takes 1.63 seconds to say thank you to the bus driver, your school teacher as you are leaving, someone helping you. We are part of something incredible and that it isn't about me, but our focus should be on each other. Not what I do, but what WE do.

This is so true. Not only in sports, or at work, but in our everyday lives. If we take the time to encourage someone, to just say thank you for the small stuff, how much more positive our world would be?

Coach said that we aren't good enough on our own. We need each other to bring out the best in each of us. 

This is your assignment.....Find something positive to say to your co-worker, parent, bus driver, boss, brother or sister (yes, I know that may be a hard thing to do!). EVERYDAY!! When you start to encourage others, you will see the negativity leave and a much more happier world. And when you do this everyday, your focus will be on the positivity of this world and blind to the negative. 

Philippians 2:3–4

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Love to all,

cycle of habits

Have you ever felt like you are in a cycle? A cycle of just repeating your habits you are trying to break? I mean, you make a stand for yourself and just keep going back to the old  habit.  For example, on Sunday, you pray with your full heart to God that you will watch what you say, your words, your actions and asking God to forgive you of the past week and lead you into this next week. You feel good because you are ready to tackle work, the people you meet (ie Walmart!) and the world. Then by Wednesday, you are back into your habits.  

Yes, I am talking about me!! But I am sure I am not alone in this. I have many faults, but you know what? I know I can start over that day. This is what GRACE is. I hear a lot about receiving grace or giving grace to others. But do you actually give YOURSELF grace? Do you forgive yourself? This is a hard thing to do. We beat ourselves up over the smallest things and dwell on them. When all we have to do is forgive ourselves.  God forgives us, why can't we?

I heard a song and it said "thank God for Sunday morning".  I thank God for every morning. Because I know I don't need to wait to Sunday morning to be forgiven. I just need to confess and try my best to not repeat it and be the best person I can be. And WHEN I fail, I know I can get back up and start over. And I don't have to do it alone. 

God's grace never ends. He will continue to give you that grace as long as you come to him with an open heart in forgiveness.

God's grace flows from the essence of his being: “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (Exodus 34:6, ESV)

Love to all,

mindfulness

 

Mindfulness. Have you heard about this? I am learning all about being in tune with myself and self-care. It seems this is the thing now.....mindfulness.  It is the ability to be fully present. To be aware of where you are and what you are doing. To not be reactive or overwhelmed by what is going on around you.

Hmmm, let's think about this. How many of you just go through the motions and when something happens, you react to it? Well, you are not being mindful. I have had 3 days while my hubs is out of town to be by myself and enjoy the peace of my empty home of not having to talk to anyone or interact with anyone, other than the dog. I have been able to rest my brain, my mind and body. It has been nice. I also didn't have to share the TV remote, I could sleep in the middle of the bed and didn't have to share my wine!

How many of you just take some time for yourself? It doesn't have to be days. It can be an afternoon at the park, or on a hike, or just at the library or coffee shop enjoying a book.  A lot of you will probably say you don't. We tend to take care of others rather than ourselves. Especially nurses. We give so much of ourselves to work, then come home and give to the kids and our spouse that at the end of the day, there is nothing left. 

Next time you have some time alone, (and you may need to make yourself have this time) sit outside and close your eyes. Listen to the sounds. Feel the breeze and the sun on your skin. Smell the pine and flowers, (or cow pasture, if your backyard is like mine!) OR even better, when it rains, go outside. Smell the freshness, feel the rain on your skin. Do this when the kids are taking a nap, or send them out with the hubs for ice cream and you stay home, enjoy the quiet.

This is self care.  RESET. This self care will help you with stressors in your life. Help you be positive and kind. 

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.   Numbers 6:24-26

Love to all,

My testimony

 

I feel pushed, nudged, or whatever you want to call it, from God to give my testimony.  This has been on my mind during my alone time and I keep fighting it. And you know what happens when you try to ignore something that God tells you.... He gets louder. I think someone needs to hear this and I am not sure who. So this post will be here and on my other mission blog as well. https://onemission4him.blogspot.com/

This the sermon version!

I grew up in the church. Sunday mornings, Sunday nights and Wednesday night church. AND anything in between. The rule at my house was if you are well enough to go out on Saturday night, you can get up for church on Sunday morning! So I did. And that is how I met my hubs! But that is a different story. Lets not get sidetracked!

I was baptized at 8 yrs of age. I don't think I knew what it met. Well, I know I didn't really know, but I knew I wanted to take communion with everyone else. I feel like that I went through the motions. I knew what it meant to be a Christian and I believe that Jesus is my Lord, but I didn't know what it meant to follow Jesus. It wasn't until later in my life that I learned this.

So over the years I started to move away from church. I felt it was more "fun" to go out. So I indulge myself in a not so good life. I am sure people will think they are mild compared to some, but for me it was not who I wanted to be. I stopped going to church and praying. I stopped reading my bible. I felt so alone. It took me trying to have a family and the struggles with infertility to get me back on the road with God. We had to go through so much for 6 years to just get to the point of having our children. It was a long road and the hubs was so supportive through all the emotional ups and downs. But I had to learn to trust God and his timing. This is where I learned patience. I had to wait so long. I prayed so hard. Looking back, I can see God working through me. I am NOT saying that God did this to me. This is just something that happened and God used this to work a wonder in me and soften my heart. Throughout our trials, we have to lean more on Jesus to get us through them. This is where we grow more in our faith and trust.

After having twins, I feel I grew closer. I started attending church again. I was growing my relationship with God and our family was growing in Christ. Our home was peaceful and throughout the ups and downs that came at us, we were able to handle them. Like when we tried  our fertility treatments again only to not have it work. Having God say no is hard. Even when I wanted more kids, but God knows the plans he has for us and I just have to trust. Little did I know that this was for the best and not in my plans to have more children. But I still cried.

Then at age 44, I got the news that I had breast cancer. This is where I truly learned faith. This is my faith testimony. I had to put all my trust in God to heal me. I had to trust the doctors to help me. This was way out of my hands. I had NO CONTROL. and I didn't like it. It was so scary. I was faced with death. Well maybe not death, but when you hear the word cancer, that is the first thing you think of: dying. Then once I was able to get over that shock and start treatments and figure out what to do, I had to deal with the side effects of the treatment. That was another roller coaster of faith and leaning on God to help me. THEN...I had to go through radiation. This was yet another. I had to lay half naked on the table for 15 minutes while I was being scanned with radiation. While the rad tech watched me. Yet again, another road of faith and leaning on God to get me through it all.  

During this time, a one year journey, I prayed hard, got on my knees a lot, and looked for answers in the bible, worship songs and through teachings of pastors to help me understand. I could feel my faith and trust grow. I could feel peace that I never felt before. It's weird, because I hear people say that and never understood until then. 

It has been 10 years since my cancer and I can say that I am still on this journey. I have ups and downs as anyone would. Heck, we are human. but we are children of God. Forgiven. So don't be so hard on yourself.

The interruption you are going through in life gives you the opportunity to pause and rethink. It is not a one time event to place your faith in Jesus. This is a something you do everyday. In Luke 9:23, Jesus looks at his disciples and tells them, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."

Love to all,

Change

 

Who likes change? I mean really. Change is hard but necessary. It seems like I am noticing change more, or it is happening to me more. Kids go to college, move back home. Now one moved out, one stayed home. AND NOW, the one is moving back home, and the other is moving out. Don't get me wrong, I want my kids to move out. The hard part is that they are moving across the country, out of state!! I don't like that.

    Changes at work, and trying to get back to our "normal", which I really don't think that will happen. I'm sorry that I am being so negative, but it just doesn't seem like it, and the way things are now is the new normal.

But without change, we cannot grow. It seems I am never too old to learn something new. I think we all should be open to learn new things. Like me, I have started back to school for my MSN, at age, uhmmm, 54 yrs young! Never be afraid to try something, even if it is moving to another state.

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley,I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Love to all,

Women in my life: MeMaw

 

MeMaw. When I hear that name, I think of so many memories of her in my life. She has been so much to me and I really miss her at times. 

Growing up I would spend the night with night with her. I remember staying up late to watch Johnny Carson and we would sneak some of papaws chocolate ice cream! She had a lavender bathroom and I thought it was so cool. Everything was lavender! It stayed this color until she moved out after my papaw died. It stayed this way for around 40 years!

She would always be there for me to talk to. I would either go to her house after school or call her up. It was funny because papaw would answer the phone and tell her to get off the other extension to talk to me just to get her goat going! I would talk about boy troubles, being mad at mom (a lot of the time) and just life stuff.

Once I got married, I still went over there. I remember seeing her sitting on the front porch. Or her seat at the kitchen table. She had her seat, and papaw had his. When I got in nursing school, she would have me look at stuff and diagnose stuff. And I mean anything....bumps on her bum, rashes, spots.... Craziness!

CHOCOLATE PIE! She made me chocolate pie for my birthday. EVERY YEAR. I looked forward to this. I knew it was coming. 

She had a loving heart and a crazy sense of humor. She was always there, even toward the end. It is hard when someone you love has alzheimer's. They forget a lot of things but sometimes there is a clarity and you can talk. She would ask me one day how the twins were, thinking they were still babies. Then she would ask me another day when the hubs and I were going to get married. She thought papaw was still alive and was asking where he was at. At first we would remind her that he had passed on. But that got to be so hard, because it was like she was mourning him all over again. So we just would tell her that he was out. 

I miss her. I miss being with her and talking with her. She loved with all her heart. I will see her once again, when we meet up in Heaven.

Do you have a MeMaw, G.ma, Meme, Nana, Mimi, grandma, GiGi or whatever your grandma goes by still around?  Love on them, visit them, call them and tell them you love them. These are memories that will stay with you and bring you joy.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love to all, 

Women in my life: M-I-L

 

                                                  

Yes that is what this one is about: Mom-in law.  So when you read that, I know that you are probably thinking, WHAT?? Your mother in law. NO, my mom in law and YES. She is at the top of my list of those women that have influenced me throughout my life. Some marry into families and do not get to know their spouses parents well. I have been fortunate that both my family and my hubs family are all close. We celebrate together our life events.

I have known her since I was a little girl. We first met at church. But we didn't get to really know each other until me and the hubs started dating when I was 15. And even then, we were not that close. It wasn't until after I got married, that our relationship started. And it hasn't stopped growing.

She has helped me through a lot of difficult times. Through my pregnancy and after the kids were born, she helped clean my house, laundry (and yes, to my embarrassment, she folded my underwear!) She is a good cook and back scratcher! She made us meals to have when we didn't feel like cooking. And when I was tired and worn out she would just rub my back. So much love. It is like I have 2 mommas. 

She will baby sit grands and this includes her grand dog too. She loves with all her heart. Everyone. She shows this by volunteering in her community and church, too  

She used to needlepoint but is not able to continue this hobby now. The projects that she has given me throughout the years, I cherish them all.

I have learned a lot from her about giving of yourself and faith. She lives this example and teaches it to those who know her.  

"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." —Proverbs 22:6

Love to all,

Women in my life collection: momma

Daughter and momma

Me and my momma

 I am starting a collection of series about the wonderful women in my life that have influenced me throughout my life.  So the best way to start this is with my momma!

I am in a bible study with my momma and we meet every Tuesday. Well, almost every Tuesday. It is a joy to spend time with her each week and I get a free meal out of it too. Who said bribery doesn't work!

My momma is my best friend. Growing up, I never would have thought this would happen. I gave her a tough time growing up. Yup, I was not the perfect kid. But I would like to think I have grown into the perfect woman!! She is my confidant, my person, my tribe. My person that I can talk to and she will understand. AND, she gives her opinion for FREE! 

I know that when I was growing up and dating and having boy troubles, she was there. During the times of of anxiety of getting married, infertility, she was there. She understood and supported me throughout my cancer, because she knew what I was going through. She listened, held me, cried with me.

Now I am not saying that the hubs wasn't there for me during most of these times, but it's different with a spouse than with your momma. Sometimes you just need your momma. At times the claws come out and we just have to walk away from each other for a while. Especially when she gives that free advice! (just joking mom!) But then there are the special times when there is just no words needed. It is just a look or simple act to know that I am loved.

I saw that growing up with my mom with other people. I saw it with her taking care of her mother until the end. I saw the humanness in her come out with frustration she had and the hard work she did. But she gave that all over to God and continued on. I saw her do the little things; preparing her meals, wiping her mouth, getting her dressed and even more. 

I know I can always count on my momma. She is a prayer warrior. She loves deeply. She has a big heart. For example, she makes Christmas ornaments every year for all her nieces and nephews. That is like 25-30 she makes each year! Last year, she got a itch to make quilts for them all and her sisters. Well she made about 13 quilts last year! WOW! After much complaining and whining, I got one this year! And I love it. I will cherish it. (She also made one for my daughter at the same time).

That is love in action. I am a witness to it and have been on the other end of her love (and her whoop'ns) 

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. Proverbs 31:25-31

Love to all

wobbly desk

 

This is my little corner of learning. This started 4/1/22. Nope. Not an April's fool joke. It is FOR REAL! After I got registered and started looking at my first class and the syllabus and assignments, I started to think, WHAT WAS I THINKING???!  Well it is day 3 and I am still thinking this.  I got my desk, and had to put it together. I thought, I can do this. Well, a few minutes later, me and my daughter were putting it together. When we were putting the final piece on we realized I got the top piece on backwards and had to drill a hole to hold the side shelf! I wasn't about to take it apart and start over. 

It is good to go out of your comfort zone, learn new things. You are never to old to learn. You are never to old to hear I love you, or I am proud of you. As a parent, I try to impart these words and actions to my children. I want them to know how much my husband and I love them and how much we are proud of them and the adults they have become.

In the same way, I love to hear this as well from my parents and family. And they let me know. It is a warm feeling to know you are loved and it comforts you to know that someone feels this way...they are proud of you. To know that they trust me and seek out my guidance as a nurse shows how much they love me.

I am comforted and look forward to seeing my dad wave at me when I leave their house. He stands outside and waits for me to back out, and waves.  It is a memory I will always have. It reminds of other memories I have, like sitting at the kitchen table with my memaw and mama just talking about life and boyfriends. Or talking to my papaw on the phone. Sitting with my parents-in-law at church and looking forward to being with them at the service. Holiday gatherings with my family, the WHOLE family.

The memory of my husband telling me how beautiful I am when I was going through chemo treatment and I lost my hair and gained 20 pounds. (I can rock a bald head!) When my son, who was 4 at the time, put his hands on my cheeks and said "I love you mom". And the wonderful feeling that your daughter wants to spend time with  you and says you are the "cool mom". And you already know that I AM the cool mom!!

There is so many ways to feel loved and I have so much to be thankful for. This love fills me up and spills over for me to give this love to others. 

So hopefully my little desk will last with me pounding away at my computer for 2 years. Then I can celebrate with everyone our accomplishment of my masters degree! Yes, we all will celebrate because we all earned this. I did the work, but they all had to put up with me, my crying and whining and giving me encouragement to keep going forward.

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Love to all,

Thank you for the small things

Do you think about those small things? Those things that really make a difference, but we really don't notice them.

I had my family in my house this week.  Both kids. Grown kids. This is something I took for granted in the past. Now when the kids come home, I realize that I miss it. To have those quiet times with all of us just sitting in the living room together. We may not be saying much, but the togetherness was so much more. The family dinners and the conversations we have. I miss all of this. I won't miss the messy house when everyone is here! I see some things don't change. My son is back to his home right now and I can tell he is gone. Summer can't get here fast enough for when he returns!

The small like an encouraging word, hug, or even a smile can give someone that encouragement to someone that may need a lift that day. And you may not even know that you gave it to them! I have been on the receiving ends of this. And I know that when I am down or not feeling good, that smile or someone just telling me I did a good job or even thank you has made the day more bearable. I try to encourage those around me. I try to not dwell on the negative. I think I am doing pretty good and suppressing my negative Nelly in me and seeing more of positive Pete!

Find the good in each day. Write a blessing you have each day and reflect on it. Look for things in the day that cause you to smile. One of the many things that cause me to smile (and sometimes to really wonder why) is my dog Riley. She is so playful and loving. Dogs have a sense to give unconditional love, no matter what. She plays, cuddles and is so annoying at times! but she will have that look sometimes that just causes me to laugh and smile. Find the joy in life, in the small things.

God is working through us all, whether you like it or not. We are all part of his plan and we need to decide which side are we on. Is your heart opened for God?

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today", so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." Hebrews 3:13

Love to all,

what a week

 This has been an week. All I can say is WHEW! as I wipe the sweat from my brow. Do you sometimes feel like things are out of your hands? This week I had to make some really tough decisions. Decisions that I do not like to make, but had to. 

In the midst of this, I feel I was sent little breaks. Things to take my mind off the tough times this week. Two of them, I will share.  I was pumping gas one day and the lady at the pump next to me had 3 baby goats!! OMG, they were so cute!!  And you KNOW I just had to go over and see them. I just couldn't help myself. And they made the cutest sounds of BAAAA.  You would just want to cuddle with them all day. Let me show you.....

See, I told you.. Cuteness 200%. 

I also got to spend some time with the girls from work. We went out to lunch at this amazing restaurant with some amazing food. I already told the hubs that this was going to be a date night place to eat at. Then went to this place called a rage room.  This place is something else. You go and just tear and beat the crap out of stuff.  This was so much fun. I never thought throwing bottles against a wall or taking a sledge hammer to a TV would be so much fun. And just to let you know, a sledge hammer is HEAVY!

Just goes to show me that I had a lot of stress to beat out! I recommend this to anyone. 

What I learned this week:

~Take some time for yourself.

~I cannot take on others mistakes or faults

~I am not responsible for others actions, only to myself

~I am loved

I praise you because I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.  Psalms 139:14

Love to all,  

Hallof Faith

 Hebrews 11:1; Now Faith is confidence of what we hope for and assurance of what we do not see. 

Who is in your hall of faith? No, not hall of fame. Faith. Do you have anyone? Think of someone you can always count on. This person is someone who is always there for you. Someone that if your were to have a date set to meet, you know that they would show up.  Do you have them in your mind yet? 

This is what faith is. Confidence of what you hope and sure of what you do not see.

Sometimes, though, people fail us. We are human. We make mistakes. We must forgive to move forward. They may cancel on your lunch date, or say the wrong thing at the wrong time. But haven't you done the same? I can think of times when family and friends tried to comfort me and said something that would make me think "are you serious?" 

Like: When I had cancer, I would hear things like, There is a reason this happened to you, it could be worse,  and the best one I heard was you have a good head to be bald.  I know I have an awesome and beautiful head but when you lose your hair for all the wrong reasons, this is something you don't want to hear. I know they didn't mean any harm, but....

God is with you and he has a plan. Through everything that you go through or whatever you are  doing to help someone through their tough times. You play a part in that. He doesn't tell you his plan. He doesn't tell you what your part is in this plan. You have to have faith that God knows what he is doing.  You have to hold on to God, sometimes tight, and let him guide you to where you need to be. He wants us in his story and we have to take that step of faith to be included in it. You may not know where you are going, but God does.

It doesn't always have to be hard times. We are part of this in the good times as well. We just don't see it when we are happy, we tend to remember the hard times more. For me, I think one of the parts I play in this plan is with my family. To be the best mom, aunt, wife, daughter that I can be. To be an example and show love. To carry on the traditions and life story of my family. My memories of this is fish fry picnics every year. KFC every Sunday after church at my grandpas house. Aunt Vicki's "fruit salad" at our family picnics. Camping and fishing every summer, (well I didn't fish, I dissected the worms). Reading the birth story of Jesus every Christmas (and fighting with my brother whose turn it is to read it, so that my dad had to start keeping track of it!).

If you want to make a change in the world, start with YOURSELF. Smile MORE. Have MORE fun.  Love MORE. And then you will SEE change. 

Love to all, 

Survivors that are surviving

DID YOU SAY HUGS? I want a HUG!

 

Everyone one of us is a survivor in one way. You survive each day with the ins and outs of life. Some have had it tougher. You may say, "I don't think that includes me." Well, you survived high school didn't you?? I think that is our first test of life. If we get through that, we can tackle the other things that is thrown at us.

I know I have talked about this before on here.  I am still talking about it because I am still surviving the effects of this pandemic. The aftermath of this that the world is going through. And so is the great people I work with.  It is getting harder and harder to manage the stresses of our work life which is crossing over into my personal life. The lines are getting blurred.

You see, nurses are committed to our patients. It becomes hard when those patients or families are not understanding what we do. They try to tell us or the physician's how to do our job and get upset when we do not do what they learned on the internet or what someone has told them. We have them scream, yell profanities and call us things that shouldn't be said. We are physically abused when trying to protect the patient from hurting themselves. BUT....We come back to this the next day. New nurses learn how to dodge punches or what to say when verbally attacked. We all start to "toughen up" and our hearts become a little hardened each time this happens.  It is called compassion fatigue. 

But we put on our smile and go back and do it over, and over, and over and over......again.

Today, I decided to spread some cheer. I have a sign on my office door that states, "Free Hugs. No appointment needed. Warning, may cause smiles"

No one came for one today, but I am sure that there will be some coming for their hugs soon.  I am ready for it because I am a hugger.  I need hugs. If this is one little thing I can do to help someone through a difficult time, stress or just provide some comfort, then I will hug you!!

Be Kind... to others but also to yourself. If no one has told you...YOU ARE LOVED. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are NOT ALONE.

Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”  Nehemiah 8;10

Love to all, 

New year, same me

 

New years always has us making resolutions and what we need to change. I am tired. I don't think I have it in me to do anything different. And whenever I make a resolution, I am doomed to not be successful with it.  So I just don't make them! Today, as I was waiting to get my hair cut, I noticed that it has been exactly one year ago I was getting a haircut! How's that for chance. But my picture from last year to this year are so dramatically different. 

Covid has taken so much from me, as I am sure it has you as well.  Maybe not covid but just the pandemic. I have worked more due to staffing needs, patients that are more critical and have higher acuity needs, and my responsibilities have increased throughout all of this. But also, my stress level has increased. I worry about my family but with working more and worry, it can age you. Am I am SO tired.  All the time. When I saw my pictures side by side, I was shocked. All I wanted to do was cry and say WTH!!!

So what did I do?  Yup, I felt sorry for myself!! haha. but after my pity party, I started to think about a sermon I heard and realized it is time for a renewal! I always like to have a word for the year for me to work towards or to remind myself of what I need and I found it. RENEWAL. That is what this year is going to be about.

RENEWAL of my mind, my body, my spirit. RENEWAL of taking care of myself, less worry, loving others.

Paul teaches us in Romans 12;2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

So as I look at my pictures, I agree, yes I look like I have aged, yes I have gained some weight.  BUT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?  I have a lot of work ahead of me, but thank God I have him in my corner and I have a whole year to make good on this promise to myself!

Love to all,