the rabbit didn't die!

OK you are wondering, "what on earth are you talking about Autumn"!! Well I will be happy to tell you that I am not pregnant. Hmm, you may be thinking, what on earth why would you say this!!

Well I went today for my radiation markings.  The nurse says, we first have to check to make sure you are not pregnant.  I could have told her that!! God help me if I am pregnant at 45!!

So I went today and got marked, with purple marker! yea at least it is a cool color. HA.
So here is the scoop.  I laid in the CT scanner, got a CT of the chest, then these really cool green laser lights shined on me and the tech traced the lasers lights on my chest.  So I have purple lines all over!!  (and NO Micheal, you can't see the cool marker lines!!) Doesn't look cool but I will be like this for 6 wks.  If all goes well, my 30 treatments will be done on Jan 23rd.

One good thing, I was told not to lose more than 10 pounds because it can alter the lines for my radiation.  Whew!! the pressure is off and I have at least another month before I have to get down and dirty on my exercise and diet.  So I will have to wait on getting back to my "normal" weight until after Christmas. I guess that gives me an excuse to go buy an outfit to wear!!

1 Samuel 16:7, "But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him.  For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."" 
So right now concentrate on my heart, ignore my bald head and overweight body.  Note:  MY HAIR IS STARTING TO GROW BACK!! WHOOT WHOOT.

Picture for laughs:  I can always count on my friend Missy to keep me in line and keep my head high and laughter in my heart!  Just look at that awesome car!! Yup that's what I'm talking about!!

Love to all,

getting fit is not so easy

I thought the other day that it was about time that I got down and dirty and get myself and my body back in a  good frame and shape of mind.  You know I have been told that if you exercise it will actually keep you in a good mindset.  So on Monday I decided to start again.
Now remember, about 2 1/2 months ago I was running on the treadmill.  Well to my disappointment, I was able, yes able, to walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes to reach my peak heart rate!!
My mindset?? still in question.

What's up with this??? I say.  Man, the discouragement I felt when I was done with that 15 minutes.  But I got back on it today and did it again.  I have to keep telling myself that I have to start somewhere, and this is that somewhere.

So pretty soon, I will be back to my old self and fit back into my clothes!!  I didn't want to believe it when others said I would gain weight with chemo.  I believe it now!!  20 pounds later.  And thanks to all my friends for telling me how great I look and I don't look like I have gained weight.  It kept me from feeling so bad about myself. I even had a friend tell me I looked "hot" being bald!! She is such a funny person!! HA

So now that I am done with chemo and all the sickly feelings that come with it, I am ready for a new beginning!! a new start for the new year.  A start for being healthy, not wasting any time, just spending my time with my friends, family and God. A time of not feeling bad, but feeling good about life and back to my running circles around everyone life.
I have seen everyone's thankful list this month. I haven't started one, but I would like to list my top 10:
1. Jesus, my Savior
2. Bible, it keeps giving me great advice and knowledge
3. Rob, the most wonderful husband
4. Erin and Tyler, my amazing kids
5. my family and friends, the best support I can have
6. health, my life
7. my awesome job
8.  my doctors who have great compassion
9. facebook, this kept me connected with everyone while I was down and it still does!
10. good drugs (aka phenergan!)

So there's my list this year. Now off to clean the house with the kiddos to get ready for tomorrow's holiday.

1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you".

Love to all,

my normal life

Well I have taken my last chemo treatment last Tuesday.  And all I have to say is THANK GOD IT IS OVER!!!!  I don't think I can go through another week of feeling nauseous, sick and tired all the time.  I still am feeling sick now, but I am feeling a little better.  I am so glad my treatment wasn't over Thanksgiving holiday.  That would be a real bummer!!

So now, the next step in my recovery is radiation.  I go on the 27th to get marked then set up my schedule for treatments.  Dr. Cornett said I won't get sick, just feel tired, but Dr. Hargis also said I could still work while taking chemo and we all know how that went.  I will just have to see how it goes when I start it.

So here is what I am looking forward to, not being sick from chemo or taking this stupid chemo:
1. I want my normal life back.  At least some sort of normal.  I am ready for it.  I had to cancel my girl scout meeting last Thursday because of being sick.  You know I love my scouts!!!!  I hated to do that.  We will be getting together soon and having some normal fun!!
2. I want to take communion at church every Sunday
3.  I want to not be sick all the time
4. I want to not be in bed all the time
5.  I want to go shopping!!
6. I want to spend time with my husband and not plan around chemo symptoms
7. I want to have time with my kids and not be sick
8.  I don't want to be stuck with needles
9. I am ready to eat and not feel nauseous or have a bad taste in my mouth
10.  I AM READY TO BE ME!! TO GET BACK TO THE AUTUMN EVERYONE KNOWS!!

So throughout all of this so far, I have been taught a very big lesson and I am still learning.  To rely on God, not on me or others, but on God.  To trust  in him to provide, to get me through this illness, to support me and to carry me when I am at my lowest.  And I have been carried alot in the last  4 months.  I hope God is doing his workouts, because I have a feeling I will still need some carrying.

2 Corinthians 1:9, "Indeed, we felt that we have received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead."
And indeed he has raised me from the dead!!

Love to all,

Part two

Tomorrow will the beginning of the next step of my family's trials and experience with cancer.
Part one ends on November 13th with my very last chemo treatment. Have I said how much I am looking forward to this day.  It is marked and will be a day of celebration, (but the celebrations will be held off til the week after so I can eat my cake!!)
Part two: Tomorrow I go and see the radiologist Dr. Cornett to see when I am going to start radiation.
So it looks like I will be starting the radiation the 1st of December.  I hope to find out what the plan is and a more better timetable of what is going to happen.  You know I have to have all my ducks in a very good row!!

So for now, I am getting over being sick, still have a cough though.
I actually have been able to get out of the house this weekend and enjoy some time with my family.  I am hoping to plan a trip to IKEA next weekend!!  We will soon see how that goes.

This month has alot of going on.  The second bestest thing of Novemeber 2012, MY BIRTHDAY!!  I used to not look forward to birthdays, but everything that has happened to me has taught me to love each day God gives me and to live it to the fullest and to God's glory.  Life is short and I have so much to say!!

1Timothy 1:12, "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service."

PS:  Gerri, you are in my prayers and thoughts this week and you begin your journey.  Stay positive and keep your eyes upward.

Love to all,