Open to new experiences

Everyone knows that with age comes experience.  And as you get older, you get to have a lot of new experiences.  I have had my share, but nothing like the one I had a few weeks ago.  It is taking me this long to talk about it.  So your wondering what this experience is?  Let me just say, according to all the doctors, we are all to have this experience once we reach age 50.  Yes, it is the lovely "colonoscopy"!!
I have been putting it off for a while.  I was not afraid of the actual procedure.  What I was dreading was the prep.  You know, the colon cleanse! I even went as far as cancelling my appointment and rescheduling it for a later date.  Well, that date came.
So I started my cleanse the day before.  I went to the store and did a little shopping before I started.  On my list, baby butt wipes, sprite, jello, broth.  Having clear liquids for a whole day is hard!  And I feel for babies.  Those dang butt wipes......they don't work. The clear liquid diet, hard as it was, the jello was amazing!
When it came for the prep, my instructions were to drink one 16 oz prep the evening before and the other one the morning of the procedure.  The first one I got down.  And it works really fast.  All I have to say is be ready.  There is no time to play once you drink it!
But the next day, I had to drink this nasty stuff again.  It DOES NOT taste like sprite! And I only got half of it down before my stomach started to revolt and decide it wasn't going to take anymore.  My stomach started to push it back up and out!  Wrong way to come out.
My husband took me to the hospital for this procedure.  I really don't know why doctors tell you a time to be there, when you know good and well that this isn't the time you will be seen.  Same for this day.  I showed up at 12:30 and didn't get seen til 1:30.  And remember, I haven't eaten anything since the day before, so I was really hangry.  For some reason they had trouble with my IV, something about being dehydrated from the prep and my veins decided to hide, so this delayed it longer.  Finally, they got the IV after about 4 needle sticks and off to the suite where I will lose my virginity. The doctor was sweet and  had a nice smile, and he said he would be gentle.
Then, I woke up.  That's all I remember.  And my reward.  A giant hamburger!  It was the best burger I have had. 
My doctor tells me that everything looked good and the report on the polyp they found is negative for anything bad.  This is good.  I wasn't even thinking about anything like that until afterward when he said he found that polyp.  I'm glad, because I would have obsessed over it.  Once you have gone through the cancer diagnosis, everything is an obsession if it could be something like this again. Well, I don't have to do this again for another 10 years, hallelujah!
So, if it is your time to have this done, my advice is....be prepared. It is an experience like no other. Don't be afraid, your God will be with you, and will be with you when you get your results.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Love to all,

I’m sorry

Yep, I’m normal, human.  And I lost it.  I mean, I didn’t hold it together this week.  I thought I had it together, but I found that I can’t be in control of everything.  If you know me, I HAVE to be in control! I am learning to let go of a lot of things, but sometimes I don’t and that is when I just loose it.  So this week it happened again. And yes, I cried, and not a pretty one, it was ugly.  I had another teaching moment from my father (God).  It really stings to accept this discipline and it is so humbling.  And my witness for him wasn’t there, at all.
At this womens’ conference this past week, we were challenged to have a “word of the year”. So I decided not to wait til January, but pick one now.  The word that keeps creeping to me is Joy.  I feel I have lost my Joy and need to study this and have it back in my life.  So this week that is exactly what I am doing. True Joy means nurturing a deep longing for God.  I have not had that for a long time and I want that back.  I know God will bring Joy back into my life.  I am a work in progress. A quote fro C.S Lewis- “I wouldn’t be surprised if Jesus, when we meet him face-to-face, opens the books and allows us to see the good things from our lives with a greater clarity than when we first experienced them. Such speculation is not wild theology. It is near to the heart of the Bible. After all, Jesus said that the Father knows you so well- better than you know yourself, in fact.”
So I know I am forgiven and I just have to get back up and start today anew. God is guiding me.
So, I would like to say, I’m sorry, to those that had to witness this. Just know, I am human and I will try better today.

Colossians 3:2-3; Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For y ou died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
Love to all,