Monday, April 27, 2020

God only knows

Driving home today, the song from For King and Country, God only knows starts playing. I love this band and they can put on an amazing concert. Their songs always seem to touch me and my life. This song is no different.
"God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
There's a kind of love that God only knows"

Do you find yourself in a struggle? Not knowing if you can get through it? Well, I am hear to tell you that you can! I get through struggles a lot. It seems like my life is one big struggle at times then other times I think I got it too good. Do you have a fear of covid? Worried about your kids? Worried about a diagnosis? Wanting children but having a hard time right now?  Kids going off to college? Getting married? Your kids getting married!?
You can get through it!

I have had many struggles through out my 50+ years ( I will never tell!) of life and I have no doubt that I will have more.  It only makes me stronger and smarter.  What I have found is that I have to remain positive throughout the struggles.  I have to find the good in that struggle and imagine me coming out on the other side, a winner, a survivor.

One that stands out is with my kids. I have twins and they are now 23! I always wanted kids and it was a struggle for me to get pregnant. When I finally did, I was on top of the world! As they grew up, I got to experience so much as a mom. But the best was during high school and off to college. Growing with them and our relationship turning into a friendship has been the best.  From teaching them how to drive (that was very scary!), to watching them dress up for the prom (kinda expensive!), to going off to college (very expensive!). I always said I couldn't wait, couldn't wait for pregnancy, couldn't wait for them to grow up, couldn't wait for them to move out, then it happened. Then I would say, I can't wait for them to leave and go to college, and they did! It was hard but then I got use to it and when they returned home, well all I can say is that it was an eye opener.  Yes, I want them to move out and be on their own, but I am kinda glad they are still here. As you can tell, I have issues of letting go!

You know, the truth is none of us really know what others are going through. We have to stop and really look to see the full picture....and then there are still some things about us, our struggles, that God only knows.
So whatever your struggle is, no matter how big or small you may think it is, God only knows...and he LOVES YOU.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Love to all,



Saturday, April 25, 2020

purpose

"Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created." Esther 4:14

Have you ever asked, "What is my purpose? Why am I here?" I have asked this question throughout my life many times. But as in the scripture above, Esther asked this also. She questioned God when she was placed in situations that she was afraid of and scared to move forward. But God placed her exactly where she needed to be at that time.
Throughout my life, I have been placed in situations that I have questioned at that time, but looking back, it was the right place, right time.  I have had that scared feeling where you want to vomit from your nerves (and it isn't good when a little comes in your mouth!)
         When Robby and I were trying to get pregnant and nothing would work. We went through all the infertility treatments and then decided on IVF. With the wait and trust, we were blessed with 2 amazing kids. The right time was 6 years later!
          When I got cancer. That road was a scary, long road (and it still is) but I survived and learned a lot. I learned how strong I can be. I had to. There was a lot of nausea, pooping, crying (and not pretty cries, the ugly ones) all the while trying to work and keep my life as normal as I could. It not only affected me but my family, my kids. I didn't find out how much until much later after I started recovery. But it brought us even closer as a family.
          The challenges of being a mom to adult children. Yes my kids are 23 now and it is hard to believe that at their age I was married! I couldn't imagine them being married right now! My kids are still little in my mind. And I don't want to think about them getting older, because that means that I am old too!
          COVID-19; I don't think I need to say more.  This is difficult times for all the front line workers and all the essential workers.  People think that only nursing is essential, but there are many parts to essential to keep our world surviving this crisis.
So what does all this mean? It means, that these moments in my life and many more to come is what I was created for. All our experiences in life are just that, experiences and we survived. And others may be going through them and you have experience to help them through it.  My experiences can help someone with struggles with infertility or cancer because I lived it, I know their emotions they are going through.  Covid-19, I know and see the stress and anxiety of nurses and other staff working in the hospital. I can help them through it.
So when you start to question the trial or struggle you are going through. Do not fear. You are right where you need to be. This is what you were created for. Be strong. Be courageous.
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. (Zig Ziglar)

Love to all,


Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Be the Ativan


Be the Ativan. I bet you are all wondering what that means.
Well let me tell you. 
It means: to be the calm, Be the light, To be someone's person.
Well, during all this covid stuff, someone I work with said to me, "Autumn, be the ativan" and it just stuck with me. You see, as a nurse, I sometimes give ativan to my patient's to help them when they are anxious or need some help being calm. This is what we should be doing to those around us that are anxious about what is happening in our country and our world. We need to be the calm amidst the storm.
So when you are feeling anxious, think "Be the ativan". When you see someone freaking out, be their person, be their ativan! I know sometimes I feel like freaking out when I have to wear this mask all day!  Or when I feel down because I have to tell another family member that they are not allowed to visit.
But I am the calm and help find other ways to help the families be with their loved one that is in the hospital. This is how to be the ativan!

So, we believe this slogan so much, that we had shirts made to shout it out to everyone!

We are all in this together. Support each other and we will survive.
Here are my people that help me through these times. (I circled myself)


1 Peter 5:7; Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Love to all,

Sunday, April 12, 2020

the times of CV19

The Coronavirus.  It is scary and I am being told that our surge hasn't come yet. That is scary.
But I will not let my fear or anxiety of this virus take a hold of me.
It's sad that throughout all of this, we are asked to distance ourselves from others, no hugging, no visiting our family and neighbors, no going to parties or church worship. We are asked to tell families they cannot be with their loved one in the hospital. We are asked to be the person with our patient while they are critically ill and hold their hand in the place of their family. We are constantly having to be the person to try to comfort the family and give them confidence in a complete stranger that we will care for their loved one the way we care for our families. I think this is what satan wants, us to be in our house, feeling all alone. Us to be scared and give into our fears. This was shown when people went out and bought a ton of cleaners and toilet paper!
But I am here to remind you.  God said FEAR NOT.  He said it 365 times in the Bible.
I see everyday as I go out to go to work. I have to be strong for those who fear. I see confidence and amazing love EVERYDAY when I go to work. The people I work with put aside their fears to care for your family and loved one. They care for them as if their patient was their mother, brother, grandmother. The shed tears before the day begins because they know what the day will hold. They are strong everyday and shed tears after work as they take off their mask they had to wear all day to relieve the pressure from the day. These people get it all together before they go home to their family so they can be strong for their spouse, their kids.
We get asked all the time, how are you doing through this? We manage. WE get through it together. You see.  There is nothing like a family like my work family. We encourage each other, we sit next to each other when we need to cry, we listen when we need to let off steam.  We support each other, and without my work family and team, I would not be able to survive.

So even though times are hard, and they are saying that times will get even harder, I have the support of my family, my work family and ALWAYS MY GOD.

Here is some promises from our God:
Joshua 1:5: No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6, 8; Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (8)The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.


Love to all,