My story isn't finished

 

My story...it isn't finished. God is not done using me yet! I want to share with you my story, and I am sure I have done this before here, but in case you have not heard it.

Short version...I was saved at 8 but really didn't know what that meant. Then I got caught up in the world, frustrated with the whole church thing and decided it was not for me. I realized, life is miserable without Jesus, so I came back. But really didn't commit until I had to trust an lean on Jesus throughout the trials in my life. And boy, have I had some doozies, but we all have had some of those. Now I live for Jesus. I trust him to carry me, provide for me and help me when life is rough. And that is where my smile and happiness comes from, Jesus. Not things of the world.

Kinda long version....When I realized life is miserable without Jesus and came back, that was a struggle. I went to a large church and was able to get "lost" in the crowd so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone or "make friends". But what church is about is community and relationships. I went through infertility during this time, God carried me through. Blessed me and hubs with 2 amazing kids! Then about 15 years later, I went through cancer, God carried me through. Blessed me with healing and remission. I have gone through life changes of different jobs and different salaries, God has carried me through. Our needs are met and bills are being paid. Not only in my life but during this time, hubs went through back surgery, blessed with recovery. He still has trouble but God is working through him and he is still able to do all the things he needs to do. Going through our kids moving out and one of them across to the West coast! That is still a challenge but God blessed her with a great job, friends and support there. 

Now in our life, we have more life changes. You know as we age, things change. I always knew that one day we would have to care for our parents, but it has crept up so quickly. Not to say that our parents need us now to care for them, but we are in the process to prepare, in case that happens. So my hubs parents will be living with us in about 2 weeks. It is a change, not only for us, but for them as well. I know it will take some time to get accustomed to this living arrangement. 

It can be scary. 

Living with my parents again. 

And I am sure they are feeling it too. Just when you think you have us kids kicked out of the house, we are back! There is more to my life story, more to come, more experiences to be had. I am here for God to use me and work through me. 

So trust me when I say, God is with you through it all. Hard times and sorrow may come to us because we live in a sinful world. But we can pull through it. YOU can pull through it. And the other side? Full of grace, joy and happiness. 

Ephesians 1:7; "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace"

Ephesians 2:8-10; "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Love to all,

Recover time takes longer now

 

No filter. Gray hair, wrinkles...all of it. No filter. I look at my picture and think, when did I get so old? Take this past weekend. Friday, I started with a stuffy nose and it turned into a head cold. A stopped up, can't breath, stuffy nose and it turned into being sick! I remember when I was young, I would start feeling like that, I could just shake it off. I would go on with life as usual. But NOOOO! I get a stuffy nose now and it turns into a raging head cold where I am laid up on the couch, in my PJ's all day, taking Nyquil every night. What happened to me?? 

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time. But then I think, I wouldn't have my life, my family, that I have now. So, when you start to think how hard life is, or how it is hard to accept growing old, look at your many blessings you have. Look at what you have been given. Remember all that you have experienced so far. If you didn't live, you would not have any of that.

Proverbs 16:31 (NIV); "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness."

Isaiah 46:4 NIV; “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you” 

Love to all,

Taking a minute

 

Yep, that's me and Riley...taking a break.  Just to catch you up, I have been packing up to move for 2 weeks. We moved....Monday. And I have been unpacking all that we packed up. It is A LOT of work to move. I have a few more days to get everything in the "right" place before I have to go back to work.  I say that because I think I have placed things in my kitchen and pantry and moved it a few times, just to find the right place for it (aka, for me to remember where I put it easier). 

So Riley and I are just sitting here on the deck, listening to the rain and soaking it all in. And when I finally stop to rest, all the thoughts and feelings start to flood in. It can feel a little overwhelming at times and trying to find the ways to process it all can be difficult. Then before you know it all the feelings come out.

They come out by soft tears. Happy tears. We have been working toward this moment for a long time. Years. And it is finally here.

So funny story (I have a few). I met one of our neighbors today. She is a retired nurse. Come to find out she retired from the hospital I work for, and she was in care management like me. Go figure. So I have a retired nurse living to the right of me and a retired RT to the left. As you know, I am a nurse and the hubs is a RT. I can't make this up! God has a funny sense of humor, but it is comforting because our 2 neighbors have something in common with us. Easy ice breaker!

Other funny story (Well I don't think it is but...), We have no yard. It is a big dirt mound, front and back. The builders have to grade the yard and then get the grass sod when it warms up. That is in a month, fingers crossed. So poor me...has to take Riley out on the lease to go find a place for her "relieve" herself (go to the bathroom). It is really fun when it is early in the morning or late at night and it is still dark. And my dog, well, she relates the lease to going for a walk. It is really  hard to get her to do her "business" quickly. Tomorrow it is going to rain. So I will find out how it is taking her out in the dark, in the rain. Please pray for me! How can you not love this face!

As I was contemplating on the deck everything, one of my favorite verses came to mind, and I will share with you. I hope it blesses you today and days to come.

2 timothy 4:17; "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth."

Love to all, 

It was worth it

 I survived. Not sure what I was worried about. You know, sometimes we go down the rabbit hole and it is hard to get out of it. What I'm talking about is my volunteer day at Shine. (read previous blog entry). I got there, and was all ready for my guest and for me to be a buddy. But God has something else in mind. Not sure what kind of testing this was, but we had some guests not show up, and the guest assigned to me, was one of them. So I technically didn't have a volunteer job. I was told to go and have dinner and they would find me if my guest showed up. So that is what I did. And God placed me at the right time to help another guest and their caregiver through the food line. She was non-verbal and gave the best hugs. I ate dinner with them and found out she has a job at a store that makes healthy pet snacks/treats. Pretty cool. And she loved to people watch. I do too! So we watched everyone dance and walk past our table in their 80's outfits. I was able to dance a little, 80's style, and then I played the audience in the karaoke room. Between the dance floor and the karaoke room, there was a lot going on!

Oh, by the way, Yes I did! I got dressed up too! It was like taking me back to my high school days! I loved it! Right down to my neon pink slouch socks. And BTW, I am thinking of ordering more, in different colors!

                                                                            

So, I worried and panicked over nothing.  Just goes to show that God may had different plans for you and you need to be flexible and be willing to adapt, to step out and show up. It was scary and hard for me to but I did it. And it shows that I can do it again. 

It is written:

Philippians 4:6;Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Isaiah 41:10; "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Love to all,

When AnXietY or pANic attacks you

 

I am thinking right now, what was I thinking signing up to volunteer?? At the time, I thought this would be fun, something new. Now, I am feeling nervous, panic is setting in. What am I talking about?

I have volunteered with my church to help with the Night to Shine. The disability prom that Tim Tebow Foundation does. Our church is hosting it this Friday. The 13th. I thought it would be good to volunteer. I have volunteered before at my previous church, but it was as support staff. It appears I am going to be a "buddy" for one of the guests. At our training tonight, they went over what not to do, what to do, what not to say.....I am now so afraid I am going to screw it up and be the one that does the wrong thing! They say, "have fun" but don't do (fill in the blank).  HELP! I am in panic mode! My thoughts are running crazy...Am I going to connect with my guest/buddy, how am I going to adapt to their disability, what do I even say?? I am going down the rabbit hole right now.

At least I am not the only one that this is their first time. I don't feel so alone, so I can't be the only one feeling this way. So, how am I going to manage this? Well, first, I am giving it to God. So far, I must be still holding onto it, because I still have that anxiety, it isn't going away yet. 

Just give me a few...minutes....days....

Second, I am just going to be myself. The theme is the '80's. Right up my alley! And you bet I have my outfit already picked out...neon pink and all! Slouch socks ✓, big belt ✓, neon dangle earrings ✓, neon elastic bracelets ✓, and my hair scrunchie!! Not sure how I am going to get my scrunchie in use, as my hair is barely long enough to pull back in barrett's, but I am gonna try! What a conversation starter, the 80's. 

As Friday quickly approaches, I will be in and out of panic, but I know it will be fun. God puts us out there, and it isn't always going to be easy. It may be a difficult task, hard job or hard situation, but I pray that God uses me for his good and will Friday night. I pray that I will be a blessing and that I will also receive the blessing too. 

What about you? What is God calling you to do that you are afraid to step out and do?

Isaiah 41:10 ;"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" 

Psalm 56:3 ;"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you"

2 Timothy 1:7; "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."

Now, Go be the church.

Love to all,