Wednesday, December 17, 2014

family


I learned something today, family is everything.  This is me and my memaw.  She doesn't remember much because of her alzheimers.  But on her good days she does remember me.  Nothing should come between you and your family.  There should always be understanding and love.  My aunt died Saturday.  I was close to her at one time in my life, but we let things, disagreements come between us.  The last few months of her life, I feel like we were starting over and forgiving, loving each other.  But a few months were not enough.
No one knows how much time they have on the planet.  No one knows when Jesus will return to take us all home.  So while we are here, we must tell those we love everyday what they mean to you and that you love them.
My cousin described his mom as a "storm" and he was right.  She was.  And that is how I always saw her.  But I was able to see her as a different person today through talking to others and listening to stories of her adventures.  I wish I knew this part of her too. Like, I learned that she drove cars fast!  Like racing cars on the road.  Who knew?!!
I have also learned that differences you have with others are not just between you and that person.  It affects everyone around too.  I have to rebuild my relationships with my cousins now.  I feel we are on the start of it, but I know it will take time. Today he hugged me and whispered to me, I am glad you didn't die.  I haven't spoken to him in a long time, since before I got sick with cancer.  I too am glad I didn't die! In more ways than one, but I feel God has given me this second chance at life and I need to quit playing around and take my life serious.  This is it.
I was honored that in her funeral plans, she chose me to read the poem I read at my grandfathers funeral to read at her funeral.  Yes I did crack and show myself and cried like a baby.  But I got through it.I know she is happy now and living gloriously.

Don't Cry For Me Today
Don't cry for me today,
I wouldn't want it this way.
Be strong and smile,
for you will see me in a while.
I know you miss me,
but now in Heaven I will be.
Do not keep your sad face,
I am in a much better place.
Do not let your tears fall,
for I cannot wipe them all.
Yes, my life wasn't long,
but I'm begging you to be strong.
Live every moment as if it were your last,
I won't forget any memories that have passed.
Cherish life and love as I watch you from above.
As I remember all of the good things,
I come to see I have gotten my wings.
It is time to go and fly,
as your guardian angel I will try.
Don't cry for me today,
I'm on my way.
Soaring through the sky,
I watch all of you telling me goodbye.

RIP Twana Gayle Deweese

Love to all,