I have had an experience of lack of faith and have taken things into my own hands. Well it all started when I was obsessing over the side effects of my medication tamoxifen. So I decided to go off of this medication in October. And as like all of my non-compliant patients, I became one of them. I cancelled my appt with Dr. Hargis my oncologist and thought, "I am finished with all this cancer stuff." What I should have done is call Dr. Hargis and talk with him first but I took things into my own hands and thought I knew better. I went for my GYN doctor appt and told him what I did and he pretty much told me I was grounded and I was wrong. I went back on my tamoxifen in December and have since spoke with Dr. Hargis.
So now I am a good patient again. I have had all questions answered and clarified. The biggest one was why would you give me a medication that can cause a secondary cancer when there is other options like estrogen suppression therapy which would be remove my ovaries. I have to take this tamoxifen because my cancer was estrogen receptive positive. Dr. Hargis really didn't like me doing my own research about my medications or cancer. But that is what a prudent nurse, hummm, patient is suppose to do. I went on reputable web sites and the information was the same.
Dr. Hargis directed me to look up "soft trial". This trial essentially was about looking at women on tamoxifen only and women who had their ovaries removed on aromatase therapy. It was very promising and I have a date to talk with Dr. Pridham again about possible surgery.
So I am back on my meds until I know something different and I hope it will happen soon. Nothing will get in the way of my trip to Honduras in March. So if need be, it may have to wait til I get back. I just hope I don't turn into a bigger fat cow than I already am. I have been referred back to weight watchers which I will probably start next week. Not happy about that.
I am still using my complimentary therapies also, and it has helped with stress reduction.
Lack of faith is not trusting God to get me through this. I don't know when I lost it, but I need to give it all to Him to make it in this life. Sometimes God sends us people in our lives to give us a kick in the butt, mine was Dr. Pridham.
2 promises from God that help me right now:
Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
AND....
Proverbs 3;5-6; "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
Love to all,
