Today is no exception of the reminders cancer sends to me. As I sit in the chair here at Louisville Oncology for my infusion treatment, I am once again reminded of my cancer treatment. I have daily reminders like no hair, out of shape (yoga is kicking me into shape...day 4 today!!), having to ask my doctors if I can get a flu shot or vaccine and the list can continue. But I will not let this bring me down! I am just beginning my new life chapter. Rob and the kids keep me in realty and I can assure you, no special treatment! I will keep my positive attitude, thank you, and wish all of your (to cancer) negative reminders BE GONE.
verse of the day is a reminder of what I have been promised:"Truly,truly I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgement, but has passed from death to life." John 5:24
Love to all,
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
My new look
I guess this is God's way of my conversation starter for some. I am comfortable with talking about my cancer and what has happened, but others may not be so comfortable with it.
So as I deal with my insecurities and trials everyday, I asked God to give me a word in church today. Funny how God will answer your question. You may not like what his answer is or what he says, but he will answer you nevertheless. Today, I got it. I just want to share it with you.
My word didn't come from the sermon of Pastor Andy in Matthew 5, but came from the next page in my Bible in Matthew 6. As my eyes wondered over the scripture, this particular verse caught my eye and spoke deep in my soul. Matthew 6:25 Jesus says this: "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"
As I read this, "do not be anxious", I think, I am so worried about work, the kids, money, bills and my list can go on and on and on..... But here God is telling me He has it all covered if I just let him. If I just have faith and trust in Him. As a human, a sinner, my faith and trust comes and goes but God knows this and this is why he gave me His word, the Bible. To help me, guide me. So I need to trust in Him more and give it up to him and I will have peace.
Well Pastor Andy, your sermon didn't go unnoticed today. God added onto my sermon in my heart. You asked a question that just hit the very pit of my being today. Does my faith in Jesus transform me (work in me) from the inside out? In order for this to happen daily, I need to constantly keep my faith in God and as James 4:11 says, "Humble ourselves before the Lord and He will exalt you,"
So as I go on my daily life of worries and hardships, even though the tough part of cancer seems to be over, I give it all to God and put my trust in him, knowing that he will guide me and my family and provide for us.
Love to all,
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Is it hot in here???
Well, I love summer time and the hot weather. But these hot flashes I don't like. They come up at times when you least expect it. I could be having a conversation and all of a sudden, BAM! A hot flash. I get red in the face, and people take notice. Then it goes away, only to happen again, and again.
The really best part (hear the sarcasm?) is when I am trying to sleep and I wake up sweating!! I am the cold one, always with 10 covers on me. Not anymore. The dogs love it that I put off so much heat. They get to stay warm when they snuggle with me!!
Well, Dr. Hargis said he threw me into early menopause with the chemotherapy and now my daily medication I have to take. Be careful out there what you ask for. I use to say,"I welcome it to come" Now I know I didn't know what I was asking for. But that is all good. I know this will pass, just not soon enough. One a positive note, at least it is winter time and not summer. These hot flashes would not be too fun in the summer!!
It is so funny that I was watching an episode of sex and the city. One of the characters has breast cancer and she was going through early menopause and having the sweats. I don't have it as bad as they portray her to be but I feel like she looks. It's nice to be able to laugh at something and know it is just a stage in my life. A chapter that is starting because the previous one closed.
God continually blesses me each day. My hair is growing still!! I am finding my energy!! I am trying to exercise and get back into shape. I am enjoying my life!!
Mark 11:22-24: "And Jesus answered them, Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, Be taken up and thrown into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
My mountain has moved so I can move onto better things in my life. I have learned so much from the experience and have grown so much. Now onto the next mountain!
Love to all,
The really best part (hear the sarcasm?) is when I am trying to sleep and I wake up sweating!! I am the cold one, always with 10 covers on me. Not anymore. The dogs love it that I put off so much heat. They get to stay warm when they snuggle with me!!
Well, Dr. Hargis said he threw me into early menopause with the chemotherapy and now my daily medication I have to take. Be careful out there what you ask for. I use to say,"I welcome it to come" Now I know I didn't know what I was asking for. But that is all good. I know this will pass, just not soon enough. One a positive note, at least it is winter time and not summer. These hot flashes would not be too fun in the summer!!
It is so funny that I was watching an episode of sex and the city. One of the characters has breast cancer and she was going through early menopause and having the sweats. I don't have it as bad as they portray her to be but I feel like she looks. It's nice to be able to laugh at something and know it is just a stage in my life. A chapter that is starting because the previous one closed.
God continually blesses me each day. My hair is growing still!! I am finding my energy!! I am trying to exercise and get back into shape. I am enjoying my life!!
Mark 11:22-24: "And Jesus answered them, Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, Be taken up and thrown into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
My mountain has moved so I can move onto better things in my life. I have learned so much from the experience and have grown so much. Now onto the next mountain!
Love to all,
Friday, February 1, 2013
amazed at myself
I continue to amaze myself sometimes. I mean, I may appear to have a lot of confidence in myself but when something tragic happens it tends to change your perspective on yourself and how you think other people see you.
Since I have started my journey with cancer, it has really taught me to look at what I value in life. I am not talking about the things like family, God, love, because that I know and will not change.
I am talking about how you look at yourself and what is around you. When this first started, my biggest concern and fear was how I was going to look. If you all remember, my fear was about loosing my hair. Well I survived the hair loss and it is growing back. Now I find myself hiding behind the hats and scarves that when I make a decision to go without it, that REALLY FRIGHTENS ME!!.
I took that first scary step yesterday. I went to work and went head naked! At least for the first part of the night, because my head got cold and needed my hat back. But I did it. You cannot believe how scared and nervous I was, (and still am thinking about doing it again). Just think how you feel going on a huge roller coaster for the first time and that fear in the pit of your stomach and trying not to throw up!! That is me.
But I am so glad that I did it. You see I was introduced to a lady yesterday, a patient, who is battling her breast and lung cancer. We talked about our treatments and what we have in common. It is just she has been fighting a lot longer than I have. I praise God and thank him for giving me great doctors and nurses to care for me and for his healing hand on my life. He reminds me everyday that I am his child and he is caring for me.
I hope and pray that this lady is comforted and I gave her a little good for that short time we spoke.
So I continue to fight the fear of this cancer drawing attention to me. I don't like to draw attention to myself. But as I saw yesterday, God may want some attention shed on me to show His work in my life and illness. I guess I will just have to get use to it and pray for strength to deal with it. For the right words to say when others ask about my hair and to help them feel comfortable when I give them my answer.
Thanks to all my friends for giving me positive words, encouragment and confidence to go on each day. I know I can always count on each of you for those uplifting words.
I am going to continue to be brave and go hatless as much as I can.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Love to all,
Since I have started my journey with cancer, it has really taught me to look at what I value in life. I am not talking about the things like family, God, love, because that I know and will not change.
I am talking about how you look at yourself and what is around you. When this first started, my biggest concern and fear was how I was going to look. If you all remember, my fear was about loosing my hair. Well I survived the hair loss and it is growing back. Now I find myself hiding behind the hats and scarves that when I make a decision to go without it, that REALLY FRIGHTENS ME!!.
I took that first scary step yesterday. I went to work and went head naked! At least for the first part of the night, because my head got cold and needed my hat back. But I did it. You cannot believe how scared and nervous I was, (and still am thinking about doing it again). Just think how you feel going on a huge roller coaster for the first time and that fear in the pit of your stomach and trying not to throw up!! That is me.
But I am so glad that I did it. You see I was introduced to a lady yesterday, a patient, who is battling her breast and lung cancer. We talked about our treatments and what we have in common. It is just she has been fighting a lot longer than I have. I praise God and thank him for giving me great doctors and nurses to care for me and for his healing hand on my life. He reminds me everyday that I am his child and he is caring for me.
I hope and pray that this lady is comforted and I gave her a little good for that short time we spoke.
So I continue to fight the fear of this cancer drawing attention to me. I don't like to draw attention to myself. But as I saw yesterday, God may want some attention shed on me to show His work in my life and illness. I guess I will just have to get use to it and pray for strength to deal with it. For the right words to say when others ask about my hair and to help them feel comfortable when I give them my answer.
Thanks to all my friends for giving me positive words, encouragment and confidence to go on each day. I know I can always count on each of you for those uplifting words.
I am going to continue to be brave and go hatless as much as I can.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Love to all,
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