Tuesday, February 3, 2015

taking my life back

My life before cancer, I was very stressed, worked waaay too much and didn't take care of myself.  I got sick and it was a true life eye opener.  I quit my second job and started to take care of myself.  Went through treatment and now I am 2 years cancer free!!
So I am starting to go back into my old habits.  NO I didn't get another job, but I feel I have put a lot on my plate.  (my eyes are always bigger than my stomach!). I am working, in school for my BSN, trying to spend time with my girl scouts, and making sure my family knows I love them and they are important.  I feel my relationship with Rob, Erin and Ty are the best it has been. 
So you know there is a but coming.........
But, I have failed my heavenly father.  I have not put Him first and foremost in my life.  It seems that once he healed me, I went on with my life and my bad habits.  I have forgotten what he did for me.
So I am going to change.  I NEED to put him first in everything I do. 

I have been asked to be a guest speaker at one of my friends church in March at their women's group event.  I am so honored that she feels that my story of faith is worthy to speak to others about.  I am worried about what I am going to say and how.  I have faith in Jesus and trust that he will pull me through whatever I encounter. I have had many people come and tell me that I have inspired them through out my journey.  I hope that I can continue to do this.  I feel that all the obstacles I have faced, closed doors and victories are from my Jesus and I have many more stories to tell and more stories to encounter.

So as I write this speech, pray for me to have the right words to say.  Pray for me to have confidence and to not have fear come on me. 
And most of all, pray that I WILL NOT CRY!  For those of you that know me well, you know I cry at a lot of emotional times.  I just can't seem to hold it in.  And I don't cry pretty either.  So for the benefit of these women, I need to not cry.

Psalm 27:1, "The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?"

Love to all,