I can't keep singing the song "Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from Heaven above..."
I saw how awesome God can work yesterday.
I was at Norton Hospital downtown Louisville to have my port inserted for my chemo treatments. Here I am sitting with my mom waiting for my nurse and then my nurse comes in. An angel sent from God. Joyce asks, why are you getting the port. I tell her it is for my chemo from breast cancer. She tells me she had breast cancer, surgery, and chemo.
She was sent to help me understand what I was going through and she answered my questions. ALL MY QUESTIONS.!! You all know I have lots and lots of questions.
Questions like, what am I going to feel like taking chemo. How to control the side affects. About my hair loss. And she even had a wig on and it didn't look like one! It is so amazing how I see God in the little things and he shows up when you don't even expect it!
So now, with the help of my dad and mom, I am going to get a wig. Joyce said her hair didn't start to grow back until after her treatments were done. So this means I will be hairless a lot longer than I thought.
I got in the mail the scrub caps to wear and they are cute, Rob doesn't think so. But how cute can a bald woman be??
The port insertion went good, with the help of a great surgeon and anesthesiologist. Dr. Brown and Dr. Orman did me well. I do hurt, alot. It is on my left chest and I can hardly move my arm right now. But thanks to vicodin, it helps! haha
The kids think my port looks gross. I am sure it does. I guess since I have seen them before, it doesn't bother me.
I am nervous about starting the chemo and what is going to happen once it does. A lot of changes will be happening in the next few weeks. Pray I stay strong. Some days I feel like I will just break, but then I feel all of a sudden my weight is being lifted off my shoulders.
Rob is awesome! Have I said that?? He is so great. I don't know what I would without him. He just hangs in there and listens to me talk and talk. I guess after 23yrs of living with me, he is use to it!
The next step will be my MUGA scan on Monday at Suburban hospital. Then I start chemo on Tuesday at 0830.
Throughout all of this, I am trying to stay strong, in my physical and emotional state as well as in my faith in Christ. I think I am doing good so far. But please remember, as I try to remind myself, I am only human. So please keep a bended knee for me as I do. The next week is going to be my biggest test so far. I am nervous about the unknown and what is going to happen. So as I try to stay strong, I will need HIM to guide me through it as well as all my family and friends. Just knowing all of the support and prayers I have, does help me. As Joyce was sent to me, you all are sent to me. Everyone has a part in the plan of Christ.
"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
Love to all of you!!
I am so proud of you for the attitude you have facing this situation. It's ok to "break" sometimes and just release the tension. It in the long run makes you stronger. Don't bottle up the feelings and fear that you have, release them.
ReplyDeleteI know when I was having Chemo in 1994, I was on Methotrexate and Actinimicin D....side effects were mild...nausea (that wasn't so great), the mouth sores were the worst, but there's a special "cocktail" that they can make for you that really helps. It's lidocaine and Mylanta which also helps with the GI issues as well as numbing the mouth sores.
With that said, it sounds like you have a great support system in your family and friends and that and your attitude is the most important thing of all..like I told you before, God's Got THIS! and you in his protective arms!
Stay Strong girl and know that I am always there with an ear or shoulder. As a survivor, I can understand part of what you are feeling. What helped me thru more than anything was the fact that my friends and I would joke about my hair loss....they swore they were going to get me a gold and purple sparkly wig and make me wear it. LOL