Saturday, September 29, 2012

What is the deal with me??

Well I don't know what is going on with me.  You all know that when I started my treatments, how I felt about loosing my hair.  Then I got a wig and you all know how I felt about that.
Well now it seems that I have this fear of wearing this said wig.  I guess I am not sure what it will look like and the fear of what everyone will say.  Everyone is use to how I look with my scarves and I guess so am I.
A very lucky few have seen my bald head in person.
I think I freaked out my neighbor the other day when he came over. You see, when I am at home, I don't wear a hat, but when he came to the door, I just forgot about not having one on and his eyes got big.  It was then I realized he saw the head!
Do you want to  hear another funny thing?  Well every time I look in the mirror, it seems I shock myself at how I look.  I keep expecting hair and it just isn't there! I am so stupid sometimes!

Well I am going to brave wearing my wig.  I have chosen my first time in public to be Thursday at my girl scout meeting.  We are having our halloween party that night.  I know my girls will be kind to me and they laugh right with me. So I will have crazy costume pictures with my hair on.  Just to forewarn you, it is princess theme and we all will be wearing our princess outfits.  Ya know we can't wear them anywhere else so that night we can break out our tiara's and outfits.

I am also starting to get some nervousness about my treatment Tuesday.  It is a big chemo day.  It started this morning with an uneasy stomach.  I am just working myself up because I know how I will feel afterwards and the rest of the week.  It is like my life will be on hold after the treatment and I really hate that.  I am a go go go person and next week I will be laid up.  Not fun at all!  But I will be at the princess party FOR SURE!!!
I have 3 more treatments, I just have to keep positive and try not to let this get to me a little while longer.  My friend J is just starting her course to treat her breast cancer.  She had surgery last Wednesday and stills needs lots of prayer.
I have to keep reminding myself of what is said in Phillipians 4: do not be anxious about anything.  Well that is kinda hard but I will keep trying!!

At least I will be over feeling sick by Oct 13th.  You say what is Oct 13th??  It is the Susan G. Komen race for the cure!!  I will be walking with my teammates.  Our team is called outstanding faith.  We will be walking in  honor of the women in our life that has been affected with breast cancer.  If you want to support me or join my team, there is still time.  Go to http://louisville.info-komen.org and click on the tab komen race for the cure, then click the drop down "donate".  Then click donate to participant or team on the left, then type in my name: Autumn Chapman (just in case you didn't know!!),  my team is outstanding faith.  I know that without money or funds, there would be no trials or new drugs to treat this cancer.  The treatment that I am receiving right now isdirectly from a trial that was done.  They continue to trial meds and treatments for the different kind of breast cancer.  The only way they can is with funds like from races like this one.  You never know when it will touch your life.  It came out of no where for me and my friend J.

So keep praying for me and that my stupidity doesn't get the best of me and that I stay strong.
Love to all,


No comments:

Post a Comment