A lesson learned

Well, I figured out Friday that I really need to listen to my body and state of mind.  Yup, you guessed it.  For those of you who know me, I did over think my capabilities and tried to do more than I could.  That's me.

I got my "big" chemo treatment last Tuesday and was totally expecting the same thing to happen as last time. It didn't.  It was all different. I was so tired from Wednesday to Friday that all I did was lay in bed and sleep.
Then on Friday, I was so nauseous, I took phenergan, which helps, but makes me sleepy and slept all day again to get ready for work.  I just knew I could work.
You see, in my "Autumn's" mind, I try to work mind over matter.  I mean, if I can think my way to feeling better, then I usually feel better.  I have done this when I get sick, get a headache, or just don't feel good.  And it usually works (I would say 95% of the time).
Well with this chemo thing, it doesn't work that well.  I would have to say it doesn't work AT ALL!

So I got myself ready for work and even drove into to work.  I had to stop twice thinking my stomach was going to come out my throat.
When I got to work, everyone was worried.  I don't like to make my friends worried.  And guess what they did???? Yup, SENT ME HOME!! How dare them.  I just sat there right in the middle of the nurses station and cried.  I felt so bad and thought I could (and still think) that I can do it all.  Guess what, I can't.  God is telling me to not try.  I need to let him take care of me.
Well, I made it home and took my meds, and went to bed.
Today is a little better, but still feeling very yukky.  My scalp is sore (from my hair falling out) which it is continuing to do.  I will be hairless soon. My feet and lower legs hurt and ache from neuropathy that I was told would happen with chemo. It seems vicks vaporub on them helps, I tried it last night and it diminished the pain some.
New diet:  popcicles!! OMG!! they are the bomb-diggity right now.  orange and grape!

So tonight, we are celebrating Rob's birthday and having tacos. I think I will dare and try one.

I cannot make it through any of this without knowing first:
1. God is in control
2. the love and support of my family and friends
3. Rob's neverending support and love for me and the kids
4. Tyler's backrubs
5. Erin's sweet songs I hear her sing (when she thinks I don't!)
Matthew 6:33, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Love to all