purpose

"Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created." Esther 4:14

Have you ever asked, "What is my purpose? Why am I here?" I have asked this question throughout my life many times. But as in the scripture above, Esther asked this also. She questioned God when she was placed in situations that she was afraid of and scared to move forward. But God placed her exactly where she needed to be at that time.
Throughout my life, I have been placed in situations that I have questioned at that time, but looking back, it was the right place, right time.  I have had that scared feeling where you want to vomit from your nerves (and it isn't good when a little comes in your mouth!)
         When Robby and I were trying to get pregnant and nothing would work. We went through all the infertility treatments and then decided on IVF. With the wait and trust, we were blessed with 2 amazing kids. The right time was 6 years later!
          When I got cancer. That road was a scary, long road (and it still is) but I survived and learned a lot. I learned how strong I can be. I had to. There was a lot of nausea, pooping, crying (and not pretty cries, the ugly ones) all the while trying to work and keep my life as normal as I could. It not only affected me but my family, my kids. I didn't find out how much until much later after I started recovery. But it brought us even closer as a family.
          The challenges of being a mom to adult children. Yes my kids are 23 now and it is hard to believe that at their age I was married! I couldn't imagine them being married right now! My kids are still little in my mind. And I don't want to think about them getting older, because that means that I am old too!
          COVID-19; I don't think I need to say more.  This is difficult times for all the front line workers and all the essential workers.  People think that only nursing is essential, but there are many parts to essential to keep our world surviving this crisis.
So what does all this mean? It means, that these moments in my life and many more to come is what I was created for. All our experiences in life are just that, experiences and we survived. And others may be going through them and you have experience to help them through it.  My experiences can help someone with struggles with infertility or cancer because I lived it, I know their emotions they are going through.  Covid-19, I know and see the stress and anxiety of nurses and other staff working in the hospital. I can help them through it.
So when you start to question the trial or struggle you are going through. Do not fear. You are right where you need to be. This is what you were created for. Be strong. Be courageous.
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. (Zig Ziglar)

Love to all,

Be the Ativan

Be the Ativan. I bet you are all wondering what that means.
Well let me tell you. 
It means: to be the calm, Be the light, To be someone's person.
Well, during all this covid stuff, someone I work with said to me, "Autumn, be the ativan" and it just stuck with me. You see, as a nurse, I sometimes give ativan to my patient's to help them when they are anxious or need some help being calm. This is what we should be doing to those around us that are anxious about what is happening in our country and our world. We need to be the calm amidst the storm.
So when you are feeling anxious, think "Be the ativan". When you see someone freaking out, be their person, be their ativan! I know sometimes I feel like freaking out when I have to wear this mask all day!  Or when I feel down because I have to tell another family member that they are not allowed to visit.
But I am the calm and help find other ways to help the families be with their loved one that is in the hospital. This is how to be the ativan!

So, we believe this slogan so much, that we had shirts made to shout it out to everyone!

We are all in this together. Support each other and we will survive.
Here are my people that help me through these times. (I circled myself)

1 Peter 5:7; Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Love to all,

the times of CV19

The Coronavirus.  It is scary and I am being told that our surge hasn't come yet. That is scary.
But I will not let my fear or anxiety of this virus take a hold of me.
It's sad that throughout all of this, we are asked to distance ourselves from others, no hugging, no visiting our family and neighbors, no going to parties or church worship. We are asked to tell families they cannot be with their loved one in the hospital. We are asked to be the person with our patient while they are critically ill and hold their hand in the place of their family. We are constantly having to be the person to try to comfort the family and give them confidence in a complete stranger that we will care for their loved one the way we care for our families. I think this is what satan wants, us to be in our house, feeling all alone. Us to be scared and give into our fears. This was shown when people went out and bought a ton of cleaners and toilet paper!
But I am here to remind you.  God said FEAR NOT.  He said it 365 times in the Bible.
I see everyday as I go out to go to work. I have to be strong for those who fear. I see confidence and amazing love EVERYDAY when I go to work. The people I work with put aside their fears to care for your family and loved one. They care for them as if their patient was their mother, brother, grandmother. The shed tears before the day begins because they know what the day will hold. They are strong everyday and shed tears after work as they take off their mask they had to wear all day to relieve the pressure from the day. These people get it all together before they go home to their family so they can be strong for their spouse, their kids.
We get asked all the time, how are you doing through this? We manage. WE get through it together. You see.  There is nothing like a family like my work family. We encourage each other, we sit next to each other when we need to cry, we listen when we need to let off steam.  We support each other, and without my work family and team, I would not be able to survive.

So even though times are hard, and they are saying that times will get even harder, I have the support of my family, my work family and ALWAYS MY GOD.

Here is some promises from our God:
Joshua 1:5: No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6, 8; Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (8)The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.


Love to all,

Crisis

It's a scary time right now. And even more scarier being a healthcare worker. In the beginning we all think that it won't happen to us. That the USA is invincible!  But we are not and illness happens to the best and worst of people. I have been working tirelessly over the last 3 weeks.  The stress is hard. I think my stress comes from trying to be strong for everyone.  There are changes happening everyday and as I try to keep up with them and understand them, I have to try to get them all out to the unit I work on.  Everyone is scared and anxious and rightly so.  This is new and we are learning about this virus. I think the hardest part for me right now is that we have to tell families that they cannot come and visit their loved one in the hospital. I know if I was told that, I would be quite upset. I am sure that as we start to get more busy in the next few weeks as predicted, it will get harder.
But all I can do is trust. First to trust in God. He will be right there with us all through this. His comfort will be with me and he will comfort me.
Second, trust in my leaders. They will not lead me or put me in harms way. Matter of fact, they are working tirelessly also in making sure I have what I need to be protected.
Thirdly, Trust me.  I will do everything in my power to care for my patients, work along side of my co-workers, and be the light for them. Be a support and leader for them.
Yes, I can't deny that I am not stressed, but I know that we will all get through this. Will it be easy? No it will not. And I am sure I will have times that I need to stop and pray or stop and cry. In times of high stress and crisis, there is high emotion.
But the trials that we go through, helps mold us and make us stronger.
I heard a sermon this week and the minister had a great analogy. He was talking about the different kinds of orange juice. There is the kind that you buy that may taste good, but there is the kind that is freshly squeezed and that tastes even better.  What is being squeezed out of you during trials is what you put into yourself. So if you are always putting in negative thoughts, negative words, then that is what will be squeezed out of you.
During this time of quarantine, self reflect and fill yourself with positive thoughts. Fill yourself with God's love and message so when you are stressed, you will be overflowing and able to give love and grace to others. Be a hero to others.

Joshua 1:9 says, " Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Deuteronomy 31:6 says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

In the Bible, Fear Not is said 365 times.  This is one command from God to fear not for every day.
I will not fear!

Love to all,

supplies...

     It has been so long since I have been on here.  Lots have happened, Christmas, Holidays, parties, celebrations and family get togethers in addition to work.  But I have also been busy meeting and planning my trip to Honduras for our medical/construction trip. I have been making lists, (and checking them twice! haha) and looking at what supplies we need.  I can say that I am so overwhelmed and my heart is full of all the love and support my family and friends have shown in the last month. I made an amazon registry for the supplies and equipment we will need and EVERYTHING has been purchased! Here is some of the items donated:
                                                                                                     God will always provide for the good of his plan. How could I ever doubt that it would not work!
I have a trip to SOS (supplies overseas) for some other supplies to take and then we should be ready.
     So a little about our trip.  We will be having 6 medical wellness clinics and planning on seeing 1200+ people.  Our team will not only meet their physical needs, but will give them emotional and spiritual support. They will be ministered about the love and hope in Jesus.
     Thank you to everyone that has supported me and the team. Please continue to pray for us as we prepared to leave in the next few months.
     As soon as I get back, fundraising for next year will begin.  So get ready, it will soon be pickle time!
Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Love to all,