WOW.

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is Faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."  1 Corinthians 10:13

I believe this verse has helped me this week, Monday.  The temptation was feeling scared, out of control, humiliation.  But God gave me my way out....my friends and all their positive encouragement and love.
I had my first radiation treatment Monday.  WOW. No exclamation mark.  Just a (.). The techs can do their job well.  But treating the patient, well not so good.  That patient was me.
I was called back to the area from the waiting room by an intercom.  When I got to the treatment area, there was no one to tell me where to go or what to do.  So I just wandered around until I figured it out.  When I got dressed in those wonderful hospital gowns, I had to sit and wait for them to HOLLAR my name.
Then when I was lead into the big radiation room.  I guess I wasn't working fast enough to take off my gown, because they "helped" me.  I felt like I was being stripped. I had to lay on a small table, exposed, while these 2 techs (thank you God for letting them be women!) walked around me, marking on my chest with markers, touching me, moving me around the table, like no big deal.  Very humiliating!  I now know how my patients feel when they show up in the ICU and us nurses are taking off their clothes to put on a hospital gown and not thinking anything of it.  I bet I have had many patients that feel this way.  WOW.
Well I got through it and through today.  No side effects yet.  The nurse said that I wouldn't start feeling the tired feeling until around the 15th treatment.  It is a cumulative effect.  So I have 2 down and 28 more to go.
Fun times ahead!
What I am learning, a big life lesson, being a patient on the other side of healthcare.  Compassion, treating the patient, not the illness, understanding.  This is what I need, and what other patients need.  Give them privacy, if they are able, let them keep their "lucky" shirt on, and no modesty isn't gone just because you are sick or in the hospital.  It is very hard to be a patient, and I am not a very good one!

Love to all,