Can you handle it?

 This week has been intense. I mean, intense, in all aspects of life. Work, family, personal growth. Sometimes it is hard to give to others when I feel I don't have anymore to give.

Sometimes it is hard to contain it and the tears flow.  Sometimes while driving, I just need to let out frustration and no one hears me.  I will yell and scream just to release that tension. I bet those driving by me think I am crazy or have lost my mind!  Or I will blast my music so loud to drown out the thoughts and just concentrate on the words of the songs. So glad no one hears me singing, I am not that good!

Have you felt this way? Felt like you were not going to be able to handle what is thrown your way?

I am still here and still handling the curve balls thrown at me. Is it hard? YES! Very hard. I know it will be. But I know I can do this, continue to be strong, give a smile, give more of me to others who may not be able to handle the stress of life.  Pray with them, hug them or just sit and listen.

We don't always get to choose our battles but we choose to stand. We choose to have victories in our stand. Don't be the victim of your circumstances. Choose to have courage to extinguish your worry and fear. Worry will stop you from living, from moving forward.  I don't want to dwell on what is hard and stressful. I want to enjoy my life and be full of happy and joy.

And guess what. The evil one knows what your worries, fears and anxieties are. And he will use that against you to keep you in this stressful state. He will keep reminding these to you to keep you down. 

We are bigger than this. Don't give in. Be courageous. Even when you are tired, stressed, feeling like you have no more to give.

Like I said, this week has been intense for me. But I choose to not let the devil keep reminding me, refuse to let him keep making me feel like it is my fault, refuse to let him make me feel I have no way out. 

I am not alone, I must choose to be victorious and I can only do this with christ with me.

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Love to all,

I'm OK

 How many times have you said that? I'm OK.  Were you really ok? I sometimes say I'm ok when really, deep down, I am not as ok as I make it out to be. It is sometimes easy to put that fake smile on and say I'm ok just so you don't have to talk about what is bothering you or hurting you.  But, what if. What if you just spoke the words, I am not ok, and what is hurting you to that one person you trust. Think of how much it would help you through those difficult times. 

I am learning this. Not everyone wants to hear your problems and you shouldn't tell everyone your problems either! But those that really care about you will want to listen and help you. I am learning this. It is a slow and hard process for me because I want to keep everything bottled up. 

Jesus is the one that can help you too. Yes, I know, you can't feel or see him in person, but you can feel his presence around you. You need to have faith. Faith that He will provide for you. He will provide a way out of a difficult circumstance, provide a person to come into your life or cross your path at just the right moment. He will provide you comfort and a peace you just can't understand.

So call on him. Ask him to give you his smile, his peace, his comfort and he will give it to you! Today, I have his smile, not a fake one, but one that He has placed on me because I know I am not alone.

Philippians 4:7- And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

1 Corinthians 10:13- No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out.

Love to all,

Grief

 Grief. It happens. Life happens. And how you handle it is different from everyone else. 

I have had a lot going on these last few weeks personally. 

* My dad in the hospital and not sure what was going on with him and what would happen to him.

* June 1 was the 9 year anniversary from my breast cancer diagnosis, which brings so many feelings and memories from that phone call.

* A great man from my church passed away, in the hospital I work in, which was hard seeing him sick, and his family in grief.

* taking my son to Florida to find an apt for him to move, dealing with my feelings about him moving 3 states away, and trying to learn to let go and grow up

* My mother in law going to be with Jesus this week.

All of these events have caused me to withdraw and my stress level increased.  I am having to concentrate on managing stress through meditation, prayer and being with my family.

I am doing ok, so no need to worry. I am planning my mission trip and that is keeping me busy.  Life is hard and when you start thinking about death and family moving away, it makes it harder. 

I don't want to think about losing any of my family, but I do know my God will be with me, never leave me. I am never alone. So I will be able to manage my son moving, it may take a little time, a few tears, but I will be ok.

In case you are wondering, my dad is doing great! He got a pacemaker and that has been a blessing. It is like seeing a new person. His health is so much better, and he is able to do so much more. 

So if you are going through a difficult time, feel like there is no end to trouble times or just feeling down, know that God is with you. You just need to call out to Him. He will answer.

Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV 

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Love to all,