time to heal

 We all need time to heal from this past (almost) 2 years. Some manage stress and illness better than others and some take a little longer to heal. 

Whatever stage you are in with your healing, it still is a difficult time. I was so strong in the beginning. I was trying to be so strong for my co-workers, family and even myself. You see, I am always the strong one. Even when I was going through cancer, I felt like I should have to be the strong one for my family. I do not like to show weakness. But who am I kidding? I am not superhuman, even though I try to be!

So, when I started to let the stress get to me, I didn't want to tell others, but wanted to try to manage it on my own. Remember, I think I am super-human! I just want to say that this doesn't work. Healthcare is really stressful for us nurses right now. I thought that it was bad in 2020, but 2021 is worse. Nurses are leaving the bedside and it is adding more work to those that are staying. Our work hours have grown longer and more has been added to the week. We are away from our family, spouse and children more to care for your family who is sick in the hospital, possibly dying from covid. This will go down in history just like 9/11.  Your children and grandchildren will ask you, "what was it like to live through the covid-19 pandemic?"  And we will have stories to tell of pain, victories, survival. 

I am doing much better now that I have reached out to my doctor, who is very supportive of me. As well as my amazing husband.  He is a rock for me. Am I still struggling?

ABSOLUTELY! Matter of fact, I almost succumbed to a panic attack at work yesterday! I got through it, a lot of deep breathing, and was able to move past it. But each day, I am able to process my thoughts better and not have them over take me.

Mental health is a real thing. I use to not think about it because it never really affected me. I seemed to always be able to process and work through my stressors and issues. But we all have our tipping/melting point, and I have seemed to reach mine. I now understand more fully what others have gone through. I am living this and will come out on the other side even more stronger. 

I know God will guide me and help me, give me a way out of my struggles. But I must go through the storm. I don't like it. I will not give up. And I hope with my experiences I will be able to help others even more.

John 6:35; Jesus said to them, I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.

Love to all,