Yep, I’m normal, human. And I lost it. I mean, I didn’t hold it together this week. I thought I had it together, but I found that I can’t be in control of everything. If you know me, I HAVE to be in control! I am learning to let go of a lot of things, but sometimes I don’t and that is when I just loose it. So this week it happened again. And yes, I cried, and not a pretty one, it was ugly. I had another teaching moment from my father (God). It really stings to accept this discipline and it is so humbling. And my witness for him wasn’t there, at all.
At this womens’ conference this past week, we were challenged to have a “word of the year”. So I decided not to wait til January, but pick one now. The word that keeps creeping to me is Joy. I feel I have lost my Joy and need to study this and have it back in my life. So this week that is exactly what I am doing. True Joy means nurturing a deep longing for God. I have not had that for a long time and I want that back. I know God will bring Joy back into my life. I am a work in progress. A quote fro C.S Lewis- “I wouldn’t be surprised if Jesus, when we meet him face-to-face, opens the books and allows us to see the good things from our lives with a greater clarity than when we first experienced them. Such speculation is not wild theology. It is near to the heart of the Bible. After all, Jesus said that the Father knows you so well- better than you know yourself, in fact.”
So I know I am forgiven and I just have to get back up and start today anew. God is guiding me.
So, I would like to say, I’m sorry, to those that had to witness this. Just know, I am human and I will try better today.
Colossians 3:2-3; Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For y ou died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
Love to all,
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