Things we do

 

I'm going to tell you all something you may not want to hear. But it is a hard realization. WE are all turning into our parents! I know I have talked about this before, but it is TRUE! You know, it's funny, you see it more as you get older. You may not want to acknowledge it, but the sooner you do, the more you can accept your fate!

I have noticed that I relate to things that my parents have said to me or done. The saying is true, Just wait until you get older, or, just wait til you have kids. And the really hard part is knowing that your parents were right! But I will never tell them that!

I find it hilarious to watch my parents have conversations and argue over small stuff. It reminds me of when I would watch my grandparents talk. It was funny then too. For example, dad would ask mom if she salted the food at dinner. She would say yes. He would say, well doesn't taste like it. And she would say, well you watched me do it. Then he would say it wasn't enough. Just small funny everyday conversations, don't take for granted. There is so much comedy in everyday life, you just have to pay attention. And this becomes an awesome memory that will bring a smile to your face, like this does for me.

All joking aside, I have learned a lot from my parents and am a better person for their training me into an adult. Don't get me wrong, I have made many mistakes, and have taken the consequences for them. My parents did not spare the discipline! I was grounded a lot and had to face their disappointment too (which was the hardest). But I am loved unconditionally..I am forgiven....Just like Jesus. 

Well, now that I am a parent and my kids are adults, I love to remind them of this realization that I came to know. They will become their parents. They may want to live in denial like I did, but I know all too well, they will realize that I was right! I hope I have given them great memories, like I have with my parents. They have something to look forward too with me and their dad. Because I am turning into my mother and he is turning into his dad. It is going to be a wild ride!

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Love to all, 

The ring

It doesn't look like much. But it means alot to me. Please ignore my aging hand and wrinkly skin! I was gifted this from my memaw before she passed away. The diamonds are small, and it may not be a design that others may choose, but whenever I see this or wear it, I am reminded of my memaw and all the love she gave me. She didn't have to give it to me, but she did. Well, let me correct this. My mother gave me one of the rings and my aunt had the other. When my aunt saw that I had one of them, she said to me, "you may as well have this one to keep the set together". I am forever grateful to my aunt and mom for giving me this token of love from my memaw. 

Today, I picked this ring up from the jewlers. I got it sized and soldered to keep the rings together. He took care to inspect and clean them too. They are perfect (just like me haha). As I was driving home, a flood of memories came to my mind of her and all the time we had spent together over my life time. I will cherish those times.

Funny how this one came to my mind first. I must be needing a scolding or something! One time, I back talked her and she yanked me up, took me outside and took a switch off the tree and smacked me with it! I didn't know what happened. She did it so fast. I never crossed her again!

She would always have hugs for me and cookies when I came to visit, because papaw didn't like to share his ice cream! And oh the deep conversations we would have when I was a teenager. Things that are so important to a teen but looking back where nothing, but she made me feel so loved. Never looked down or told me that my feelings were not important. 

Make memories, one day at a time. Love on each other. Today, is a day I will make more memories with my family. We are going to Hubers Orchard! I love that place, great food and they have a winery! And you all know I like their wine. (Strawberry to be exact in case you are looking for a great Christmas gift for me!). I have both my kids together right now and feel so much joy...complete. So I will soak it up. 

John 13:34-35: "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." 

Love to all, 

Overflowing Joy

 I have a feeling of overflowing joy! My family is together for the next 2 weeks. My baby girl has come home to visit and I have both my kids together. It has been 6 months since I have been able to give her a hug and love on her! My son lives close and I am able to see him more, but when I have everyone close to me, it fills my heart. And yes, my kids are in their late 20's but they are still my babies! All the mommas out there know what I am talking about. 

During my morning devotional recently, I heard something that stuck with me from Joyce Meyer that I want to share. She said that everyone has the same amount of commodity of time. We all think that we are going to have enough time and keep procrastinating and putting things off. We get busy and think we don't have enough time to do everything we need to do. BUT, she goes on to say, that God gave us enough time. He gave us 24 hrs in a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It is up to us to balance our time and use it wisely. 

We decide what we are going to use our time for. What we are going to waste it on. Joyce Meyers taught me that time is a commodity, like money. What we spend it on, like money, we can't get it back. It is spent. So when you spend your time, spend it on what you find important. 

Example: I have been working on my spending and my budget. I have been trying (and I mean it is really hard!) to stay away from amazon. I think I have traded going to target and walmart to online amazon. But I have learned, put it in your cart then sign out. When you go back look at your cart and see if you really want or (erm...need it??). I find that when I go back and look at my basket I am saying to myself..WHAT WERE YOU THINKING PUTTING THAT IN YOUR CART? What I did last week, maybe you can relate! I saw some really pretty dresses, that were not very expensive and put a few in my cart. I went back a few days later and thought, why did I put that in my cart? I don't wear dresses!! And I have worn them in years. I wasn't going to start now!

What I need to work on is my screen time. (again maybe I am speaking to someone with the same problem as me!) My time that I am on my phone and computer. I am working on it and getting that under control. Let's take it once step at a time. But I am taking tips from my dad, and reaching out to family and friends to talk at least once a week and connect. I think it is so important to keep those connections. Just a quick text works, but a phone call is better to hear each others voice! and a visit is even better because you can see each other and even hug!

I am loving my family being together again and we have a lot of plans over the next few weeks. I am looking forward to the time I get to spend with my kids and being together as a family once again in one place! Enjoy the love, the sunshine, (or rain depending on where you live) and time you have left in this earthly body. 

Ecclesiastes 3:2 states, "To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die". 

Love to all, 

The not so quiet

 

Have you ever been sitting in the quiet and it just feels so loud? You can be out in nature, caught up in all the wonder and beauty but not be present.  Sometimes for me, my mind is so loud that I can't see or concentrate on what is right in front of me. I am just thinking about what I need to do or what I could have done differently. It's like this waterfall. It is so peaceful but it is also loud. And when I was there visiting it, there was so many people there that it was hard to hear the quiet peace of the waterfall. 

Life can sometimes be so loud and get so busy sometimes that you just let it go past you and you miss out on so much. For example, over the last few months I have been in a "honeymoon" phase of changing job roles. And don't get me wrong, I love my job and the freedom it has given me. But I am so caught up in the fear of "when is the ball going to drop" on my honeymoon. Or you can be so busy with being on the computer or watching tv that you miss out on life, miss out on the people in your life. 

I know what I have to do, GET OUT OF MY HEAD....MY MIND...OUT OF MY THOUGHTS.  Stop looking at the what if's and concentrate on the present. What I have been doing is taking Riley out for a walk every day, or should I say, she walks me! I have been able to enjoy the sun, the breeze (when it is there!) and get my steps in too, a plus for me! But what it also gives me is time to do is to look around, listen to the leaves, the wind, to get out of my head and have those personal conversations with myself. It gives me time to reflect, or to listen to music. My neighbors must think I am a crazy girl but who cares, right? Sometimes I just hum a tune of a favorite song, and when I am really into it, I just sing it on our walk. You can worship anywhere, anytime. Riley is use to it, but I don't think my neighbors are, haha. 

When you are feeling that life is too loud, just step back, go for a walk, and look around.  Don't worry what other people think, do what puts joy in your heart. Put a smile on your face, that always helps too. And if you need help to find your smile, let Riley help you out. She is so happy on our walks which brings such joy to me, only after I catch my breath from our speed walk. 

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

1    The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

2    He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,

3    he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

4    Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

     your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

5   You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil;

     my cup overflows.

6   Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of         the Lord forever.

Love to all, 

Being a nurse; a perspective from a nurse

 I never thought I would be a nurse. Let alone be a nurse for 33 years! I had a high school counselor tell me in high school that I should be nurse. So what does a typical teenager do? Yep, do the opposite. So I went to college to pursue physical therapy instead. But after  4 1/2 years, nothing! I couldn't get accepted into PT school. So one day I decided that since nursing offers so much more, I decided to apply to nursing school and got in! 

                                           ONE OF THE BEST DECISIONS I HAVE MADE.

You see, I love being a nurse. It just took a while to understand what nursing was really about. When you first graduate, it's like all about the paycheck. But you learn that you can do so much. I started out in the ICU in a general medical ICU. I learned so much that I went into cardiac nursing. Cardiac rehab, open heart recovery, coronary care. Then went into neuro nursing. Along the way I went into management from the bedside. Again I learned a lot. Now I am in a new part of nursing, care management, which is great too!

I have been seeing a lot of posts on facebook that puts the nursing profession and nurses in a bad spotlight. I have worked and still do, with some amazing people. Nursing is hard...NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEARTS!  I have been pooped on, peed on, puked on. I have gagged some because I cannot do snot! sorry. I have been hit, kicked, spit on. We see a lot and have a lot of stress. Especially going through Covid, that was hard. But I have also experienced families praying over me and blessing, a wife of a patient giving me a hug of thanks, families bringing in lunch because they know we are too busy to go get food. Letters and notes of kindness and appreciation. 

It is the hardest 3 shifts/ 36 hrs a week that anyone can do. I remember as a new nurse on night shift many moons ago, we use to bring books and magazines to read because we had down time. We would get a 30 minute lunch break. NOT ANY MORE! Every minute of a shift is filled with tasks, charting, med passes, and just keeping our patients stable and alive. Sometimes we don't get to sit down, just only when we are charting. And if you are lucky you get a potty break! Then we hand them off to the next shift and come back and do it all over again!

What I learned as a nurse that we GET TO DO is:

• Be our patient's person when they do not have family
• Hold someone's hand in a time of need
• Bring joy in time of grief
• Bring comfort in pain
• Bring calm in confusion
• Bring smiles and laughter to a stressful time
• Bring a kind word to a family struggling with difficult decisions
• Saving lives

But this doesn't only apply to our patients...we are supportive of each other too. Giving a fellow nurse a hug, a shoulder to cry when there has been a code. Helping each other with difficult patients that do not understand how their words hurt. Going out for breakfast after your shift for mimosas, just because. I have worked with some of the toughest people but some of the kindest and loving people too.

I have used my knowledge and talents for medical missions and giving advice to family. I have also been a patient too, as a cancer patient and my nurse was such a support to me. 

I have experienced so much over the last 33 years and I know I have more to come. The nursing profession is so rewarding. We give so much of ourselves but in return we see the lives we saved. One example is a patient I had, she had a heart attack, had surgery and we thought she was not going to make it. She was in the ICU for 3 months and she coded so many times and kept coming back, she was our miracle. I have you know that she survived, was discharged to rehab, then to home and came back to see us on the unit. Walked on the unit. It was amazing! And I was part of that care to help her recover and go home to her family. 

So if you are thinking of nursing as a profession, DO IT! You will not regret it. Shadow a nurse for a few hours in different areas to find your place. Not everyone is ICU nurses, just like not everyone (like me) is a pediatric nurse. Never underestimate what being is nurse is. Carry your RN, LPN, APRN title proudly. 

Matthew 25:40; "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." 

Love to all, 

 

The reason...the result

                                                                           2012

Today

        

I started this blog in 2012 because I found it a means to get my story and updates out to family, friends and anyone that was going through breast cancer. What I didn't expect is what this has done for me. You see, this all started on this day, June 1st, in 2012. That is 13 years ago, today, that I was told that I had breast cancer and the start of my journey of treatment, heartache, struggles and then being a SURVIVOR! 13 YEARS. WOW. The fear of it returning is real, and always on my mind, but my faith in God, He keeps me straight. If that is the plan for me to have this struggle again, I'm not gonna lie, it will be heartbreaking, but I know my God has a bigger plan. But God, I am saying, I don't want it again!

He has used my story in so many ways, in opportunities for me to share my story of faith with others. It has opened doors. I have shared with the women ministries on my mission trips, with women's groups in churches and with my patients. Now, do I wish I had another way to open doors than have cancer be a part of my life, well, you betcha! But this is my story, and my story isn't over yet. 

But through it all, these struggles have made me stronger. And I hope my journey has helped others as well. What I didn't expect is that my blog is being read ALL OVER THE WORLD! I really didn't pay attention to the "stats" section in my administrator part of my blog. I guess being that I am the administrator, I should pay attention to this section more. Well,  I started to look at that, I found that people in other parts of the world, not just here, are looking at my blog. I hope they are reading it and not finding it too boring! I pray it is helping others, but isn't this so exciting!! 
People from Ireland, UK, Sweden, Israel, Singapore, Mexico, Germany are a few of the countries listed. I would have never imagined that my words would be used to help others like this. Now there isn't a lot of views, but that's ok. I am planting the seed of courage, confidence and I hope others will gain that in themselves.  

While I am not in the battle of cancer, I, as I am sure others, are in the battle of the mind. Anytime you experience a traumatic season in your life, it will follow you and your mind is your biggest enemy. My mind tells me a lot, every day. I sometimes talk to myself, and others will look at me like I am crazy. Well, I may be, but it is my crazy. My way to keep me positive and keep the joy in my life. So no, it isn't early dementia, even though that may be in my future, but I will tell you, IT ISN'T NOW!  So if you see me rocking it out in my car while driving, or singing while walking my dog, or just being a little quirky, it is good to let loose and experience joy and show that happiness! EXPRESS YOURSELF!    

I will never forget my experience with cancer, how it made me feel and the struggle to stay positive. What I learned was God was with me, always. He carried me and I trusted that. I put a smile on my face each day and that helped with my mind. I praised and thanked God for each day and giving me another one.

I hope my words and my everyday life experiences brings joy to someone. Even if it is just one, I know I have made a difference. 

Romans 5:3-4; "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope."

Love to all,