that guilt feeling

 

Sometimes, your mountain seems so big that you do not know how to get over or around it. Right? And you try to do things yourself only to find that your way isn't the right way. God always has a plan, he just doesn't let us in on it! We only know the ending but not when that ending is going to come. What a sense of humor our God has. I can just imagine him sitting there watching me every day and thinking "what is she going to do today?" 

Sorry to be a downer today! It's just been a really hard last 6 months and I feel I have climbed over this mountain to the other side...FINALLY! 

When I look back on my life.. of ahem... 57 years, I have experienced so much and have had a lot trials and tribulations. But I have also has so much more goodness, and happiness. And throughout all those trials, God has held me, and led me. I just had to give up the control.

Sometimes we just stay with our mountains, trying to keep the control! Until you just don't have anything else to give. And that is when you realize it is time to hand it over to God. That's what I had to do. I had to stop trying to manage it all....my life, work, family and all the rest in between and just say "Jesus take the wheel"! Once I did that, so much relief flooded my soul.  I am happy, smiling, and soon to be enjoying life more.

It just took me a while to see this. You see, for me, it was my work. I have been a nurse for so long. I moved up to management and love it. But I let my job overtake me. I let it consume me. So much that I was neglecting myself and my family. No job should come above God or family. It just took a while to figure out that I can't do this alone and needed help.

So with that, me and my hubs decided it was time for me to step down. I can't tell you how hard that was but how relieved I was at the same time. And the enemy knows this. The enemy is playing on this and now giving me those feelings of guilt. Those feelings of "maybe this was a big mistake", "maybe I made the wrong decision". Have you ever felt that way? I know this isn't the first time and probably won't be the last.

But when I made that decision and my kids are telling me that it's about time, I know that I have failed them and myself. It is time to go forward. Put it behind me and make new memories. 

Proverbs 3:5-6; "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Psalm 16:11; "You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

1 Peter 5:7; "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you"

Whenever you feel this way, look to God, lean on Jesus and talk with him, every day. Read his word and the promises he gives us. He will guide you and bring you joy. I can speak from experience. Without God, I would be nothing. 

Love to all, 

I'm back!

 

Well, I am back. Not that I have a lot of followers! But I am sure those who are wondering, where have you been?? 

A lot of things have been going on, one big thing is....we moved and that  has been a life changing experience! We are living back in the city and oh, baby, I can tell I have been away for a while. I miss the quiet, country life. 

The small town feel and friendliness of people. Traffic is cRaZy here! I have to learn to watch from all sides and just pick a lane and stay in it! Today, I was driving to the store and there was a guy that just kept honking his horn. I don't know if it was me or someone else, who knows. 

Our house is a lot different than I am use to. We are renting right now, because we are getting ready to start building a new house...in the country!  This house is temporary and ok but not what we would choose as our forever home. We took a Sunday drive out to the area where we will be living and how I do miss the back, country roads, no traffic and nobody in a stinkin hurry. Makes my heart happy that I have that to look forward too.  Now to figure out where we will do our shopping, because there is not any superstores and only a small family market for groceries! I may have to plant a garden!

And the biggest news of all, I am also changing jobs! I am moving into a position that will allow me to have more time with my family.  This is something that I have taken for granted and I need to concentrate on putting them first, not my job. So I am stepping down and I have never felt more happy about a decision. I am looking forward to this new part of life and getting to know my husband again. 

I know nothing about this new job, as I have never done it before, but I am so excited to learn and grow in a different direction. This is best part about being a nurse, you can do so much and in different areas. You can still help people in many different ways. I LOVE IT! 

    I got my orientation schedule the other day. So weird to get one because for so long I have been making and sending those out.  I can't stop smiling when I think about this new step in my life. 

God has answered so many prayers and has been so patient with me. Sometimes he has to keep giving me signs and putting things and people in my path for me to piece it all together to know what direction to go. I know and trust that he is guiding us and will provide for us and our needs. 

There is more life changing experiences coming my way and I am ready for them!

Psalm 16:11, “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

The Good News: Life is full of ups and downs — moments where we wonder if He has abandoned us. But with His guidance, we can find happiness.

Love to all,