Weight loss Journey, I mean struggle

 

I have been struggling with my weight ever since I finished my chemo in 2013. Then it just got worse as I went into menopause (which is the devil itself!). Then you top it off with a sprinkle of stress, well it was more than a sprinkle, that is a recipe for weight gain. I didn't want to work out, depression set in.  Medications just masked it and didn't help. I tried to overcome a lot of it myself. But as you know, sometimes that doesn't work. 

Well, I went to my doctor and while I don't advocate for taking "the easy way", I had tried everything I could think of. Different diets, joined the gym, worked out, meditated, whatever my doctor asked me to do, I tried. So when I peaked at 210 pounds, and I stayed at that weight for over a year, that is when I said, I need more help. Yes, I went on medication to help me lose weight. You can call me a sell out, I don't care, it has helped me so much. 

The medication journey has been kinda hard. Nobody warns you how this medication will sometimes make you sick. When I first started it, I got so sick. Vomited a lot! Yeah, it was not fun. I had to go off of it for a few months. But then I started again at a lower dose and took it slow, and it has been a better journey this time around. 

I am kinda embarrassed of how much weight I had gained. I can hear you say, don't be embarrassed. This is things I tell others, but when it is you, it is hard to stomach to see yourself not in the perfect health that you think you are in. Pictures don't lie. I am building up my courage as I write this, debating if I am going to show you my pictures. But I think they speak volumes of how I was and where I am now.

I still have a way to go to meet my goal. So I know you are asking.....What is your goal, Autumn? My goal is to get to 160 pounds. While I am not living by the scale, I use it as a gauge of my progress. I weigh in about twice a month. It has been a slow process,which is good. You don't want to lose weight to fast. It has helped me develop smart thinking on what foods I am eating and how big my portions are. I am more active, taking stairs, walking the long way around, parking farther out.

Ok, ok. I'll do it. Here are my pictures from when I started documenting my weight. Please don't laugh, because I am crying at how I let myself go.  Man, this is hard. 

 Sept 2023, 210# size XL

Oct 2024, 185# size large

 July 23, 2025 173# size medium!

As you can tell, I have lost some weight. Just only 37 POUNDS SO FAR!! This has definitely been a hard journey. I have 13 more to reach my goal. I started at an XL and have gone down to a medium! Well some medium, some large. But that is a reason I am celebrating! If you are on this weight loss journey, please do not give up. Everyday I have to tell myself...take the long way to get my steps in...park a little farther at the store...do that exercise each week....take the dog for a walk!  I tell myself, "YOU GOT THIS!" It's hard to do and it is so easy to sit and watch tv or play games. But retraining your brain to want the activity, that is hard but oh, so worth it. I still want that cupcake or donut! And I sometimes lose that battle. But I only take 1/2 of it, not the whole one. 

NEVER GIVE UP!

Galatians 6:9 (ESV); And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.

Isaiah 40-29-31; He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

LOVE TO ALL, 

Feel like giving up on it all?

 

This is a difficult and serious post for the week. I just want to give a disclaimer, I will be talking about someone in my family who passed away this week from suicide.

Have you ever felt like your mountains were just too much, to high to overcome? I know I have been there. But I can't say that I have ever felt like I was alone. I always felt God next to me, carrying me through the hard times. I know that I can lean on him and give all my fears and anxiety over to him.

Some people may not feel that way. Your mental health is real. Your mind is powerful, your thoughts and words are powerful. Not only to yourself, but to others as well. You never know what someone is going through and what their voices in their mind is saying to them. All the negative thoughts they keep internalized and no one ever sees the struggles they go through. But they can mask all the struggles with smiles and laughs externally. 

Then one day, they break.

I have experienced throughout my life friends, co-workers and now family who have passed away from suicide. It is hard to understand, I know I struggle with understanding why they feel that this world would be better without them. I always wonder if there was something else I could have done, said. What did I miss.

It is up to us to check on our family, friends, co-workers. Especially those that you think have it all together, because they may not. We need to check in with them, and not just ask in passing, how are your doing? But stop, look them in the eye, and honestly ask them, how are you? Show genuine interest in how they are and give them the time to talk about it. You may never know the difference you made with them with just something so simple as giving of your time, your interest, your words. 

People want to feel wanted, needed. I do...do you? 

To all my readers, friends, family.....THIS WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE WITH YOU IN IT! Life is tough, it's not easy and we all need to support and help each other through this life until Jesus calls us home.

If you are having these thoughts of suicide, please reach out to a friend, family or to just someone (anyone) for help. Never give up! To talk with someone call: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text TALK to 741741 or call 988.

Reflect on the verses below when you are feeling down, alone. And know YOU ARE LOVED.

Isaiah 41:10, from the Bible, says: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

1 John 4:4 states, "Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." 

Love to all, 

What was I thinking?

Not sure if you can tell, but that is a SNAKE! At my front door! I was walking out and before I opened the door, I saw him resting on my stoop. I immediately shut the door. That is a big NOPE for me!

But then I did what any sane person does, I went out the garage so I could video tape it! Looks like about 3 ft long.

After all the excitement and trauma calmed down, I got to thinking about growing up and all the times I could have come face to face with snakes. Let me share some of my experiences growing up.

We would go out and visit my g.ma and when I was young, they had a farm. It included a corn field. My mom and aunt would warn us and tell us not to go in the corn field. Even my g.ma told us to stay out of it. But did that stop us? NO. You already know if you tell a 10 or 11yo not to do something, we are going to do it! Me and my cousins and friends would go play hide and seek in that field. We would run up and down those rows. I think if the movie children of the corn was out and mom would have allowed us to watch it, we would have definitely stayed out of that field. 

Well one day, we were all playing in field, shhh, secretly! And then we hear our parents yelling for us. So we all started running toward the house so we wouldn't get caught. Well guess what, we got caught. But it was a traumatic way to get caught. I think I would have rather seen a snake that day. I got "clothes-lined" by the barbed wire fence! Right between the eyes! I still have the scar to prove it. Growing up can be rough but it only makes us stronger...right?!

Another time when I was around 13 yo, was when our parents and even my g.pa telling us to stay out of the barn. BUT...you already know, Yep, we went right into that barn. There was probably a ton of snakes in that old barn. But we didn't seen any.  The barn was falling apart, the floors on the top floor, well if you want to call them that, you could see right through them to the bottom of the barn. If we fell through it, we would have been hurt badly. But as teenagers, you know it, we didn't listen and went in that barn! And I bet you already know something happened. When we were trying to get out of the barn, we had to climb down the side wall. Well, it was not really a wall, it was planks barely hanging. When we did, my friend started screaming. We didn't know what happened. I would have bet it was a snake, but it wasn't. We had to go to mom and tell her where we were because my friend disturbed a bee or wasp nest and they got into her shirt and stung her a bunch of times. Not only did she get stung, we got caught and worse, got in trouble.....a talking (yelling) too, then grounded because we didn't listen. 

I have many other memories of where I could have come face to face with a snake, and that probably would have been better than the outcomes I experienced, but I won't bore you!  And really, I was a good kid! I think I will blame my disobedience on my cousin. She was a bad influence on me!! haha. (or maybe I was, you know it is always the quiet ones!). 

So I will leave you with some great knowledge from the book of life, no matter how old you are:

Ephesians 6:1-3 "Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

Love to all, 

Rest is not a bad word

 

Rest.. Sometimes, do you feel like it is a bad word? I mean, if your like me sometimes, I feel that I have way too much going on to stop and take a breath, let along take a nap. But, what I really should do IS to stop and rest. I know I have talked before about how the enemy causes so much to keep you busy that you neglect what is important to you.

Rest is important and I have learned that valuable lesson. It has just taken me, oh....a few years to figure it out. The things that I felt were so important and NEEDED to be done, can wait. I now rest. This doesn't mean I take naps or sleep all the time. Rest can mean taking a walk, sitting outside and just soaking in what is around me. Behind my house is a nature preserve and we get a lot of wildlife. It is so amazing to me to see all the deer and rabbits.....SO MANY RABBITS! And the birds, all kinds of them. So relaxing. And I may, or may not, have a beverage with me sometimes!

OR I may be canning pickles! That is a lot of work, but I enjoy it. It is just frustrating sometimes (like today!) when my stinking jars won't seal right. But that is ok. I only lost 4 jars today. 

So I may not be napping like Riley is in the picture above, but I do relax. I spend time with the hubs, I enjoy our conversations. Before it was him listening to me complain and now we just talk about life, things we enjoy, and our house that is being built!

Enjoy your life, love the life you have....you only have one.

Psalm 127:2 "In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to[a] those he loves."

Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Love to all,

Pick your hard

 

I was recently on IG, mindlessly scrolling and came across this video that stopped me in my tracks and caused me to think. The video was simple, about taking charge of your health now so you can be healthy and live longer. He said the average woman lives to age 79 and if you put in the time to work out and exercise your body, you can extend your life. I think we all know that, and the problem, at least with me, is that I don't want to work out! (insert the whiny voice). I have to make myself do my walks and workouts. I do have someone that helps hold me accountable....Riley my boxer. She thinks that we must go for a walk EVERY DAY! Well, I guess she knows best, haha.

But....This isn't what caused me stop and think. What did was what he said. He said, pick you hard. Hmmm. Do I want to have a hard life as I get older with decreased mobility, strength and flexibility or do I do the hard work now, so that I can continue to do the things I want to do as I age.  I want to live to a old age, to enjoy life, experience things that I can't do now, and to be old to aggravate my kids, like my g.ma did!

This is good food for thought and it can be applied to other aspects of my life. I need to "Pick my hard" now. The choices I make now, will have long lasting effects in my life. I think when we are younger, we do not think that life will be hard and that our choices can have an affect on us. Like, what we eat, drink, lack of physical activity.  This also can affect how we feel and think, how we see ourselves. The mind is powerful! I was letting life pick the hard times for me instead of me managing the stress of life. It just took some time for me to realize what I was doing and weed out the craziness. 

When I am talking with others that I may not agree with, I think, is this a fight or battle I want to have. Pick your hard. 

When I have decisions to make that may affect others, or affect me in the future, I Pick my hard.

Is it worth losing a friend or family over a difference of opinion? Is it worth not being healthy just to have that donut? Is it worth killing yourself to work a job that you dread going to? Is is worth to not live a healthy life, just to have to take a bunch of medications as you get older because of the choices you made when you were younger? PICK YOUR HARD. 

The start is simple, start small. This will take time. I choose first to have a daily walk with God. Get in his word everyday. Have a relationship with Him and he will never fail you. When life gets hard, He will be there to help you through those times when you have to Pick your hard. 

I choose to exercise, yes I will! At least 3-4 times a week so that I can keep off the weight that I lost. I do not want to gain it back.

I choose to lay off the sweets, and yes, those delicious donuts! It is hard, but I know the reward I will have if I choose to lay off of them!

I need to be better and stay off IG and FB. I am aware that I am on it way too much, but that is a work in progress. I have started reading and now have opened the kindle app with books to enrich my mind. Guess what I am starting with.... the Harry Potter series!

We all know what we have to do, it is just a decision we have to make to get it started and stay with it. Surround yourself with a community, with people who support you and are a positive impact on your life.  We all will have different battles, different "hard" times. We all must "pick our hard" in life and make choices. I wish many blessing to you all as you work through your "hard". 

Hebrews 13:5; Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 reads, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Love to all,