family

I learned something today, family is everything.  This is me and my memaw.  She doesn't remember much because of her alzheimers.  But on her good days she does remember me.  Nothing should come between you and your family.  There should always be understanding and love.  My aunt died Saturday.  I was close to her at one time in my life, but we let things, disagreements come between us.  The last few months of her life, I feel like we were starting over and forgiving, loving each other.  But a few months were not enough.
No one knows how much time they have on the planet.  No one knows when Jesus will return to take us all home.  So while we are here, we must tell those we love everyday what they mean to you and that you love them.
My cousin described his mom as a "storm" and he was right.  She was.  And that is how I always saw her.  But I was able to see her as a different person today through talking to others and listening to stories of her adventures.  I wish I knew this part of her too. Like, I learned that she drove cars fast!  Like racing cars on the road.  Who knew?!!
I have also learned that differences you have with others are not just between you and that person.  It affects everyone around too.  I have to rebuild my relationships with my cousins now.  I feel we are on the start of it, but I know it will take time. Today he hugged me and whispered to me, I am glad you didn't die.  I haven't spoken to him in a long time, since before I got sick with cancer.  I too am glad I didn't die! In more ways than one, but I feel God has given me this second chance at life and I need to quit playing around and take my life serious.  This is it.
I was honored that in her funeral plans, she chose me to read the poem I read at my grandfathers funeral to read at her funeral.  Yes I did crack and show myself and cried like a baby.  But I got through it.I know she is happy now and living gloriously.

Don't Cry For Me Today
Don't cry for me today,
I wouldn't want it this way.
Be strong and smile,
for you will see me in a while.
I know you miss me,
but now in Heaven I will be.
Do not keep your sad face,
I am in a much better place.
Do not let your tears fall,
for I cannot wipe them all.
Yes, my life wasn't long,
but I'm begging you to be strong.
Live every moment as if it were your last,
I won't forget any memories that have passed.
Cherish life and love as I watch you from above.
As I remember all of the good things,
I come to see I have gotten my wings.
It is time to go and fly,
as your guardian angel I will try.
Don't cry for me today,
I'm on my way.
Soaring through the sky,
I watch all of you telling me goodbye.

RIP Twana Gayle Deweese

Love to all,

made it another year!

So glad the dreaded mammogram is over and IT WAS CLEAR! Praise God.  So another year, clear, cancer free.  Now off to stressing over other things, like my kids growing up!  They went to the homecoming dance last week and they are not kids anymore, they are young adults.  And I am mixed about them leaving for college next year.
We are touring Vandy, Asbury, Western and Bellarmine so far.  I would love for one of them to go to Vandy, you know I just loooove Nashville and it would give me an excuse to go there!!
but I want them to be close to home so they can come home anytime.
So here is the upside and downs of them leaving:
I will have my house back all to myself!
no more toting them around town
Date night more frequent!
OR:
I miss them terribly!!
the house will be too quiet and lonely
I will miss toting them around town

This year is going to be a great year watching them grow into young adults and moving on.

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."  Romans 8:26

Love to all,

Here we go again

It never gets any easier.  And I know it never will. 
                Yearly mammograms.
Today is my mammogram.  Fear has a funny way of popping up when you don't want it to.  I know I will be ok.  I am not afraid of recurrent cancer because I know what to expect.
That is the problem....I know what to expect.  I don't want to go through what I had to go through 2 years ago again.  It was a hard time in my life.  I think the hardest I have ever had to experience. 
So at 1 pm today, I will be felt up, squished and smashed and receive my radiation to see if I remain cancer free. 
So I will lay all my fears and anxiety at Jesus' feet and let him carry my burden.  That is what gets me through my trials and when satan tries to bring me down. 
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  Matthew 11:28

Love to all,

I love my family

I have had the most wonderful week!!  First, I went on vacation with my kids and in-laws.  Yes that is what I said, my mother-in-law and father in-law.  They are not like any in-laws you may read about.  They are like my second set of parents.  I just love them.  We had a great time together this week on a cruise. 
Then I was able to keep my niece, Anna Belle Saturday night.  Well, I understand now why I do not have any more kids!  She kept me going!!  At the park, walking the dog, running around outside.  All I heard was, lets go outside.  I was ready for bed that night!  But it was such a joy to have her here and to spend some time with her.  She is a blessing.

Then on Sunday, was our FISH FRY!! Jacob came home from boot camp and it was great to honor him and his decision to be a Marine.  The stories from his experiences this past 3 months are great.  It is always good when family gets together. We are so spread out, that it is hard to see everyone except on  holidays.  And being in the medical field, you know we are not exempt from working those days.

 We also celebrated my papaw Wix. Sunday would have been his 96th birthday.  He was the one as far back as I can remember, started the fish fry's and getting everyone together at least a few times in the summer.  So many memories of them at Dover lake and Horseshoe lake.
A big thanks to my parents, David and Gwen, for hosting it too.  Dad made the fish just right!!  I am so lucky that they want to carry on the traditions of this and I hope that I can carry it on for my kids and grandkids!

So now it is back to work tonight, back to life, vacation is over.  But I will always have the memories.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, His love endures forever.  1 Chronicles 16:34

 Love to all, 

Being Holistic

Being Holistic, but I call it being whole-istic…. I have found a new way to stay healthy and keep my body free from toxins.  By trying to keep the toxins out of my body, I am helping my body to fight off disease, cancer, and illness and boosting my immune system to do this.  Exercise isn’t enough.  Erin says I am being obsessive, but if that is how I need to be in order to be healthy, then so be it. I call it being passionate!! 

Toxins are in our air and water, food, lotions, shampoos, deodorants to name a few.   You have to breath, and have no choice on your water, but you do have a choice on selecting your food and other products you put on your body. For example:

Deodorants/antiperspirants contain the chemical Aluminum that has been linked to breast cancer.

( http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/AP-Deo ). 

Your liver is the primary organ in your body that filters out these toxins.  It is important to keep it healthy to continue to filter them out. 

Cancer feeds off of sugar and acid.  Your body must be in a state of alkaline, cancer cells cannot live in this state. 

This is what I have done to try to live out a healthy, toxin free life to prevent any future cancer.

·         I exercise daily for 30 minutes or more:  This includes weights, yoga, pilates or cardio.  You only need 30 minutes/ 3times a week to get the benefits of exercise.  Sweating is a good detoxifier of the body and a natural way to rid the body of toxins.  And believe me, I sweat.

·         I have eliminated all processed food from my diet.  There are way too many additives and preservatives in food already without adding more from man-made foods.  Just think about what preservatives do to food, keeps is on the shelf longer.  Now just think what it does to your body,  it will take your body longer to digest it and you do not absorb all the nutrients from the food because the preservatives are doing what they are supposed to do, preserve.  This for me is the hardest part, because I have to plan my meals, and portion them out.  Prepping for meals is  A JOB.

·         I have eliminated sugar from my diet.  I only eat natural sugar like in fruit.  I do not add any to my tea and do not eat any candy or sweets.  Sugar feeds cancer cells.  This is hard because I LOVE CHOCOLATE CAKE!! But every once in a while, I do cave in and have some chocolate.  What girl doesn’t need it!  Not this one. 

·         I have changed my deodorant to a natural one that is free from Aluminum.  This is a hard transition because I actually sweat now!  I sure do hope I don’t stink!!

·         I am currently in the process of switching to natural products for shampoo, lotion, hair color and soap.  I found this great store called Lush (www.lush.com) that is all natural products.  There is a possibility that some chemicals can be linked to Alzheimer. “More recently, two ingredients in shampoo -- the zinc in dandruff formulas and a preservative, MIT -- have been studied, but no clear link has been established.” (http://www.livestrong.com/article/1006961-shampoo-alzheimers/). 

·         Your skin is your largest organ of your body and it is there to protect you.  But it also absorbs toxins by the water (fluoride and chlorine), air (pollution), lotions/sunscreens (chemicals in these have been linked to endocrine and immune disruption, cellular mutations and even allergies to name a few. http://www.budget101.com/scratch-recipes-storebought-items/myo-no-sweat-sunscreen-stick-4174.html). 

·         DRINK LOTS OF WATER!  Get rid of sodas, caffeine

·         Detox:  Dandelion tea is good.  Luke warm lemon water on an empty stomach is a good one too.  Carrot juice works too.

·         Wheat grass daily:  I mixed with orange juice and it is easy to swallow this way!  Wheat grass is full of chlorophyll and high in oxygen.  Cancer cells hate oxygen.  Wheat grass rebuilds the bloodstream.  For more see the website http://foodbabe.com/2011/09/02/what-a-miracle-food-wheatgrass-bali/.

·         Eat raw vegetables.  Buy organic food when possible.  It is free from pesticides, hormones and toxins.

So maybe I am a little obsessive and passionate about this.  But there is no magic pill to be healthy.  We have way too many people that are obese, including kids.  This leads to cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular disease and stroke.  If people would just make a little change to their way of life and to what they put in their body and on their body, then we would not see so many illnesses.  And as a nurse, I may not have a job!! Which is not good for me but a good outcome for our society!!

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own;" 1 Corinthians 6:19

Love to all,