Yes I think this, cancer is a bad word. I am tired of hearing it, living it and worrying about it. But it is a part of my life now. I can't escape it.
Yesterday I was having a huge pity party for myself. I went to my doctor appointment which was suppose to be a routine thing. Well it wasn't. I have been experiencing some side effects from my medication that I take, tamoxifen, and he thought it would be best to check it out. So I got a uterine biopsy.
If you all know me, yes, I freaked out. I vagaled during the procedure, then after it was done, I was just an emotional wreck. I just cried.
Damn Cancer.
I know it is all in God's hand and I trust him to take care of me. I am just tired of it all.
But today I am a lot better. No more cramping in my abdomen, I feel better, and my mood is better. I am no longer feeling weak like I was yesterday. But today I AM STRONG! I am an OVERCOMER!!
So with the love and support of Jesus to carry me when I am weak and to hold my hand in the hard times, I will again get through this.
1 Samuel 2:2, "There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God."
Love to all,
Update: MY BIOPSY CAME BACK NEGATIVE!! KEEP PRAYING, MAMMOGRAM DUE IN SEPTEMBER.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Monday, June 30, 2014
another ending
My medical bills are
WHOO HOO!!!!!
So this is the end to the monthly reminders of the last 2 years!
I can't say how this feeling is.
So onto being more healthy and getting rid of this cancer all together.
By eating healthy, exercising, and being more conscious of what I put in my body as well as on my body, I will be able to resist future cancers. More to come on this!
Matthew 5:3, You're blessed when you are at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. (MSG)
Love to all,
So this is the end to the monthly reminders of the last 2 years!
I can't say how this feeling is.
So onto being more healthy and getting rid of this cancer all together.
By eating healthy, exercising, and being more conscious of what I put in my body as well as on my body, I will be able to resist future cancers. More to come on this!
Matthew 5:3, You're blessed when you are at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. (MSG)
Love to all,
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Triggering memories
Funny how the smallest thing can just pop up in everyday life and it will trigger a memory instantly. This happened to me not once but twice this week. While at the grocery store, the song on the intercom was playing Chicago's Your the inspiration. This song is the one that my senior prom theme was made after and when the song was played, I remember dancing with Robby and thinking my night was so wonderful. You see I WAS Cinderella, and he made me feel that way. He still does.
The other time was when I was sitting on the couch and I had one of the blankets over me. When I looked down I saw it was Ty's blanket that I had made from their one year birthday. Everyone that came placed their handprint on a piece of material and it was sown together by their MeMe and their Nana cross stitched the date and their name. It turned out beautiful and I remember this day. It was so much fun and excitement. But that isn't the memory that was triggered. It was the handprint of my grandfather who has passed on 5 years ago. It got me thinking that I have a piece of him right here. Then I got to looking at this blanket and it has so many of my family's handprints and that will be with Ty (and Erin) for their lives.
So many memories of my grandparents and the fun that I had with them. Memories of being with my mamaw and both my papaw's when they were dying. I am glad I got the privilege to be a part of their family and to be there when they were saying goodbye to this human world. I know I will see them again and it will be such a reunion!
Psalms 27:4; "One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple." ESV
Love to you all,
The other time was when I was sitting on the couch and I had one of the blankets over me. When I looked down I saw it was Ty's blanket that I had made from their one year birthday. Everyone that came placed their handprint on a piece of material and it was sown together by their MeMe and their Nana cross stitched the date and their name. It turned out beautiful and I remember this day. It was so much fun and excitement. But that isn't the memory that was triggered. It was the handprint of my grandfather who has passed on 5 years ago. It got me thinking that I have a piece of him right here. Then I got to looking at this blanket and it has so many of my family's handprints and that will be with Ty (and Erin) for their lives.
So many memories of my grandparents and the fun that I had with them. Memories of being with my mamaw and both my papaw's when they were dying. I am glad I got the privilege to be a part of their family and to be there when they were saying goodbye to this human world. I know I will see them again and it will be such a reunion!
Psalms 27:4; "One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple." ESV
Love to you all,
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Don't listen to the lies
So as I read the blog of the late Kristen by her family, they are talking about the lies satan tries to tell us to discourage us and not follow what God has planned. He takes away our trust and faith and makes us believe that our way is the better way.
I have been caught in believing some of these lies and it has just caused me worry. When we worry, it is saying you do not trust that God will provide and take care of you. I am constantly learning everyday to trust God. The more I read His word, the closer I get to him.
This week I had a great conversation with Erin about life and the road and experiences that cancer took us down. It isn't very often that I get to have a conversation with her, you know she thinks I don't know anything! It was eye opening and revealing what her experience was. I explained to her that the trip has just started, it wasn't over even though my cancer is gone. She can help others that have a mother or a loved one going through the same thing, just as I help other women going through what I have done. We shared the verse Hebrews 11:1.
Well, since then a funny thing has happened. Yesterday, I heard that very same verse at least 3 times and I had 2 people come to me and talk to me about their loved one who had cancer and their experience. I am so glad that I can be an encourager and help them through my tuff times.
So praise him in the storms and in the good times. You will be blessed beyond measure!
"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere;" Psalms 84:10
Love to all,
I have been caught in believing some of these lies and it has just caused me worry. When we worry, it is saying you do not trust that God will provide and take care of you. I am constantly learning everyday to trust God. The more I read His word, the closer I get to him.
This week I had a great conversation with Erin about life and the road and experiences that cancer took us down. It isn't very often that I get to have a conversation with her, you know she thinks I don't know anything! It was eye opening and revealing what her experience was. I explained to her that the trip has just started, it wasn't over even though my cancer is gone. She can help others that have a mother or a loved one going through the same thing, just as I help other women going through what I have done. We shared the verse Hebrews 11:1.
Well, since then a funny thing has happened. Yesterday, I heard that very same verse at least 3 times and I had 2 people come to me and talk to me about their loved one who had cancer and their experience. I am so glad that I can be an encourager and help them through my tuff times.
So praise him in the storms and in the good times. You will be blessed beyond measure!
"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere;" Psalms 84:10
Love to all,
Sunday, March 9, 2014
fear can take you
I don't know what it is but cancer is so contagious. Another one of my friends/coworkers has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It is so scary out there. I can't say it enough, but get those boobies squashed! Get them checked out!
I am glad that me and 2 other women that she knows who have gone through this can help her out and give her encouragement. All this talk of breast cancer and seeing all these young women getting diagnosed is scary, and I am thinking that I should have had a mastectomy! At least I wouldn't have to worry and I would have new boobies!
Today I am reading over my blog posts and my feelings I have journaled throughout my cancer and life journeys. It is amazing how it is all still so fresh on my mind. And all those memories and feelings are being stirred up in me again with the diagnosis of these 2 women I know. I feel like I am looking through a glass and seeing myself all over again in my struggles from 2 years ago. Yes it has been 2 years. Can you believe it??
So I push back my feelings so I can support my girls and I know they would do the same. I have finished my part of cancer treatment journey, and they are starting theirs. So I have nothing to complain about. So why do I feel like complaining and whining??
Philippians 2: 13-14: "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Do everything WITHOUT GRUMBLING or arguing,"
I have a lot to work on to do this!
Love to all,
I am glad that me and 2 other women that she knows who have gone through this can help her out and give her encouragement. All this talk of breast cancer and seeing all these young women getting diagnosed is scary, and I am thinking that I should have had a mastectomy! At least I wouldn't have to worry and I would have new boobies!
Today I am reading over my blog posts and my feelings I have journaled throughout my cancer and life journeys. It is amazing how it is all still so fresh on my mind. And all those memories and feelings are being stirred up in me again with the diagnosis of these 2 women I know. I feel like I am looking through a glass and seeing myself all over again in my struggles from 2 years ago. Yes it has been 2 years. Can you believe it??
So I push back my feelings so I can support my girls and I know they would do the same. I have finished my part of cancer treatment journey, and they are starting theirs. So I have nothing to complain about. So why do I feel like complaining and whining??
Philippians 2: 13-14: "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Do everything WITHOUT GRUMBLING or arguing,"
I have a lot to work on to do this!
Love to all,
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